"Uh, mostly apples, sir," said Vimes helpfully.
"Quite. The cocktail is known as Fluff, I believe. As to the trolls, one might speculate that it would be very hard to find anything to make their beer even more dangerous than it palpably is, but I wonder if you have heard, Vimes, that an admixture of various metallic salts produces a drink known as luglarr, or "Big Hammer"?
"Can"t say I have, sir:
"Vimes, some of the flagstones in the plaza have actually been etched by the stuff!"
"Sorry about that, sir:
Vetinari drummed his fingers on the table. "What would you do
if I asked you an outright question, Vimes?"
"I"d tell you a downright lie, sir:
"Then I will not do so," said Vetinari, smiling faintly. "Thank you, sir. Nor will I" "Where are your prisoners?"
"We spread them around the Watch House yards," said Vimes. "As
they wake up we hose "em clean, take their names, give "em a receipt
for their weapon and a hot drink and push "em out into the street." "Their weapons are culturally very important to them, Vimes," said Vetinari.
"Yeah, Sir, I know. I myself have a strong cultural bias against
getting my brains bashed in and my knees cut off," said Vimes,
stifling a yawn and wincing as his ribs objected.
"Indeed. Were there any casualties in the battle?"
"None that won"t heal." Vimes grimaced. "I have to report that
Mr A. E. Pessimal sustained a broken arm and multiple bruises,
though."
Vetinari actually looked taken aback. "The inspector? What was
he doing?"
"Er, attacking a troll, sir:
I"m sorry? Mr A. E. Pessimal attacked a troll?" "Yessir."
"A. E. Pessimal?" Vetinari repeated. "That"s the man, sir." "A whole troll?"
"Yessir. With his teeth, sir:
"Mr A. E. Pessimal? You are sure? Small man? Very clean shoes?" "Yessir."
Vetinari grabbed a helpful question from the gathering throng. "Why?"
Vimes coughed. "Well, Sir..."
The troll mob was a tableau. Trolls stood or sat or lay where they had been when the Big Hammer had struck. There were a few slow imbibers who put up a bit of a fight, and one who had stuck with a bottle of looted sherry put up a spirited last-drop stand until golem Constable Dorfl picked him up bodily and bounced him on his head.
Vimes walked through it all, as the squad dragged or rolled slumbering trolls into neat lines to await the wagons. And then