“Why on earth would you think that?”
“I have been told several times. Even Kayla and Tiffany seem to have given up on me as I can’t get the hang of practicing blow jobs on bananas. I hate bananas.”
I realize Todd is almost puce in the face and I can’t work out if that is because of my declaration or because of his almost choking. I get up and get him a glass of water which is gratefully received.
“Sorry,” I tell him. “I tend to overshare.”
“No, I asked. I just was not expecting you to say that.”
“Well, Tiff wondered whether you might let me watch filming sometime so I can get an idea, but I’ll be honest I have watched pornos and I do not know how the women bobs up and down like that.”
“You can’t learn from porn, it’s unrealistic. We have all sorts of tricks of the trade and most people do not conduct their sex lives like that.”
“You say that but Kayla lives in a polyamorous relationship and Tiffany had threesomes with her husband and a man who owns a sex club.”
“Did someone say sex club?” Chase walks through the door. “Where, and when are we going.”
“You need a beer, buddy?” Todd asked. “Even you are going to be rendered speechless by what Haley has to tell you.”
Chase threw his jacket on the floor in the center of the room, walked over to the fridge where he grabbed a beer, and with the bottle opened he sprawled across the couch with his feet up.
“Tell me everything.” He said. I swear the guy should work for the National Enquirer.
“I have only heard a shortened version of the ‘my roommates like threesomes,’” Todd added. “Seriously, I figure we could make a movie about innocent Haley, the innocent roommate.”
“Screw you,” I said and flounced into the kitchen area where I grabbed a bottle of wine.
“You drove her to strawberry cordial, dude,” Chase yelled.
I gave him the finger.
“Come on, tell Chase everything.” He patted the couch in front of him, indicating a space near his chest. I walked over and thought ‘what the hell’ and sat down, resting my back against his midriff. His body heat soaked into my skin, I had an urge to snuggle.
“Which bit do you want to know? The I’m hopeless at sex or the gossip about my ex-roommates romantic lives?”
“Both, but start with the roommates. So, they didn’t just leave because they fell in love?”
“Well, they did, but they both had awesome, amazing sexcapades.”
“Aww, honey. You sound jealous?” Chase sat up and pulled me under his arm. I thought I would die of lust as his toned arm wrapped around me and he pulled my head under his chin, stroking my hair. “You will get laid sweetheart, it will happen. No need to be embarrassed about still being a virgin.”
I knocked his arm off me. “I am not a virgin. I am just awful at sex.”
Chase looked at me and smirked.
“Stop tormenting her, Chase, or she will withhold the gossip.” Todd threatened.
“Sorry, Haley.” Chase tried his hardest to make a contrite face but the smirk at the corner of his mouth remained.
“Do you want to know about Kayla and Tiffany?” I asked.
“Totally, yes,” Chase answered.
“Then give your mouth a break and your ears a turn.”
Todd laughed, a great hearty rumble erupted from his throat. “You’ve been told.” He went to get himself a beer and made himself comfortable in the chair near the couch.
“Okay, so Tiff first. None of the girls hide anything so I am not telling you anything I shouldn’t. She works for Greens like me and one day she got an email from a mystery guy called H. It said all this stuff he wanted to do to her, you know dirty stuff. She thought it was a pervert and then she went to show a condo and the businessman was him. His name’s Henry Carter and he owns a sex club called Club S.