“I don’t believe she didn’t give a shit. Romance isn’t stupid.” Tilting my chin in defiance, I lock my glare on Lycan’s. “And you don’t know what was felt by my grandmother. Have you ever spoken to her about it? Asked her why she didn’t respond?”
He considers my question before shaking his head. “I didn’t need to. My father ensured she was beside him throughout their relationship, even in secret. And what did she do? She walked out and never looked back.”
“How, pray tell, do you know that?”
“She married your grandfather.” His words are cold. Ice cold. “That’s why love is something that we can never allow between us.” There’s no debating this with him. His walls have been pulled up, brick by brick. He’s hiding behind his anger. Instead of allowing me in, instead of talking about it, Lycan’s convinced he’s right.
“I will not marry a man who regards love and emotion as nonessential in a marriage.”
Lycan reaches his hand into my hair, tangling his fingers in the long, dark strands before tugging me closer. “Tell me something, little red,” he commands. “Do you see yourself ever loving me?”
“I don’t know you.” My words are spat in anger and frustration because, honestly, I haven’t learned who Lycan Shaw is. Yes, he’s given me some insight into his family, but I don’t know him. He’s made me come, he’s given me pleasure, but marriage, a partnership, is not only physical. It’s mental, emotional.
He leans in, his lips whispering over mine when he responds, “That’s not what I asked.” I half expect him to kiss me, to claim my mouth with his, but his restraint is iron-clad. “You can’t love me. I’m not a man who can return emotions.”
“Then why marry me?” My mind whirs with possible answers to my question. Some I don’t want to think about, others make my chest ache.
But when he finally responds, it’s a dark promise. “Because once you take my name, you, Miss Bardot, will carry on the Shaw legacy as it was always meant to be.”
Confusion settles in my gut. My mouth opens, but I can’t find the words to reply. I want nothing more than to learn about him, his family and to better understand the reasoning behind his choices. But I’m sure no matter what he tells me, no matter how much we figure out, I’ll always be the girl he bought. I’m the arranged marriage he sought by blackmailing my father.
“I’m tired.” I pull away from him, putting space between us as I move backward, my ass hitting the high, wooden desk. He doesn’t come for me; he doesn’t grab at me. I make my way past Lycan before I stop, halting my retreat, and I’m closer to the door than to him. “If you focus solely on hurting others, an eye for an eye, your life will be a series of acts that will always leave you with guilt.” I move to the exit and step out into the hallway before shutting the door.
My heart cracks slightly, a barely there fissure of pain at the thought of only being here to bring children into his life. And the idea of me stuck in a loveless marriage is not what I would have envisioned for myself, but now that I’m here, perhaps I can try to fix whatever my grandmother and my father broke.
Confusion settles like a heavy weight in my gut. I don’t trust Dad, not after he signed my life away, but I also can’t trust Lycan. Maybe I should talk to my grandmother. Perhaps she can offer some form of truth in the swirl of bullshit I’ve been told over the past few days.
Tomorrow is the Bardot ball, the gala where my grandmother and Lycan’s dad used to meet. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to expose the ugly truths of our families.
24
Lycan
Shrugging on the jacket of my charcoal tux, I fasten the two buttons before straightening my tie. Usually, I’d forgo the outfit, but tonight is special. Grace will be there, and I wonder if she’s going to try and stop me from marrying Scarlett. Needless to say, it won’t go down well, but then again, I don’t give a shit.
My fiancée needs to speak with her grandmother, which I’ll allow. But once that’s over and done with, she will be coming home with me. For the moment, I’ll allow her to believe the story of revenge against her father, but once she bears my name, I’ll gift her with the truth.
I’m the monster in our story.
Never once have I denied it. But watching Scarlett come apart for me has made me feel like a man for the first time in a long while. She’s made me feel something other than the need to dominate. Granted, I would devour her whole if she were to submit. And that’s something I will be working on over the years we will spend together, but for now, I’m happy to play the gentleman just as long as it gets her to wear the ring, carry my name, and end her father.