Her brows rise as she pushes her computer to the side. “About what?”
More like who.
“Colton—”
“I knew it!” she crows, pokering up in her chair and stabbing a finger in my direction. “I knew something was going on! It’s like I could sense a disturbance in the force.”
I wince at the accusatory tone that fills her voice. So much for taking this in stride. Although, who can blame her? She was a hundred percent right to be concerned. It was a mistake to get involved with him again. “I’m sorry. I should have been straight with you.”
A flicker of hurt flashes across her face as she folds her arms across her chest. “Then why weren’t you?”
I shrug and glance away. “After the way my relationship ended with Colton the first time, I felt like an idiot for getting caught up in him again.”
“I hate how he hurt you, Lys. You took off for a year because of the guy.”
“That’s not totally true,” I mumble. All right, so maybe there’s more truth in the statement than I’m comfortable admitting. I never would have considered the study abroad program sophomore year had Colton not unceremoniously dumped my ass. The only difference is that I now have a better understanding of why he did it. But does that necessarily do me any good?
Nope.
“So what’s going on now?” There’s a beat of silence followed up by another question. “Are you two a thing?”
“If you’d asked me a week ago, I could have given you more of a definitive answer but now?” I shrug. “I have no idea.”
“What happened?”
As tempting as it is to confide in Mia, it’s Colton’s private business. The last thing I want to do is spread gossip or divulge his secrets. Only now has he started to open up, giving me a glimpse of the demons he struggles with. As much as I hate how he pushed me away, I get it. Every time I think about the pain he carries around with him, it breaks my heart all over again.
The unavoidable conclusion that I’ve arrived at is that he’s going to do it again. Already he’s withdrawing from me. Maybe not consciously but that seems to be the pattern of behavior he retreats into.
“He’s going through something personal,” I finally offer by way of explanation even though it isn’t much of one.
She nods as clouds gather in her dark eyes. In a way, Mia can relate to someone not wanting to air their dirty laundry for people to talk about. There’s been enough bullshit with her own family—especially now that her parents are separating.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure. Colton has been really distant this week.” And that has everything to do with his mother and what happened when they met for coffee. Even though he’s been pretty tight-lipped about the meeting, it’s obvious that it didn’t go the way he’d hoped. The pain radiating from his eyes when we’d run into each other in the parking lot had been like a knife to my heart. All I’d wanted to do was pull him into my arms.
“You need to talk to him and get it figured out before this goes any further. If Colton can’t step up, then it’s time to cut your losses and move on. For real this time. I know that sounds harsh, but you deserve better than this.”
I swallow down the thick lump of emotion that has become wedged in the middle of my throat. She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. As much as I’ve always had a thing for Colton, I’m unsure if he’ll ever be able to open up emotionally and give me the kind of relationship I need. That’s not a knock on him. It’s just the way it is.
Decision made, I grab my phone from the table and tap on Colton’s name before hastily typing out a message and hitting send before I can change my mind.
Are you busy? Can we talk?
My heart pounds a painful staccato against my ribcage as three little bubbles appear.
And then his answer is popping up.
Can’t right now.
Any hope I’d been harboring that we could sit down and have an honest conversation crashes back to earth before exploding upon impact. As much as I want to make this relationship work, as much effort as I’m willing to put in, it’s not something I can do alone. If Colton isn’t willing to meet me halfway...
Then I guess the decision has been taken out of my hands, and I have my answer.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Colton
“Good practice, man. Keep playing like that, and you’ll be on the field in no time.” Beck slaps my back as he saunters past on the way to his locker.
“Thanks.” I hate to jinx myself, but it felt like old times out there. Everything Beck threw my way, I caught with ease. There wasn’t a fumble in sight. It was nice. Reassuring. As if one piece of the puzzle has finally fallen back into place. With each practice, I’ve been steadily improving. It’s almost like I’m getting my groove back.