She moved her face in the other direction. Thoughts bombarded her, desires and wants, and she knew that she couldn’t do this. She could never be with a guy like Toby, a guy that had a reputation of being wild.
She’d never be able to keep up with him, with his needs or wants. “I can’t do any of this, Toby. I don’t even know what this is.”
Coming here had been wrong; she’d felt it in her bones. But sitting here with Toby, being close to him, and feeling his warmth had felt so right. She turned and left the room, pushed past Marilyn, who was making out with one of the football players, and left the party and everything that could have happened, behind.
She was a scared fool, childish and insecure, but most of all she was afraid of what she felt for Toby, and for what could happen between them.
6
Five years later
Toby definitely was a ladies’ man, and that was putting it lightly. He also had confidence, not the arrogant kind, but the type that told people he knew who and what he was, and he was proud of the fact.
Shoshanna grabbed her newly filled shot glass, brought it to her mouth, and tipped it back as she stared at Toby Mason. God, she wanted him just as much as the next woman, and had wanted him for far too long. She set the now empty shot glass back on the table and leaned back in the booth.
Tabitha, the friend she had come to the bar with tonight, was currently getting them another round of drinks. But she had been at the bar for the last ten minutes flirting with the guy serving drinks. It was depressing, but not only because today had been so shitty.
Hell, Shoshanna didn’t even drink that often, but not getting the promotion she had been all but promised, and her boyfriend dumping her last week for some big-breasted bimbo and because Shoshanna hadn’t been willing to have sex with him when he’d demanded it, drinking seemed like the best kind of medicine to loosen her up and help her worries fade away.
Besides, the longer she drank the more she hoped she’d stop thinking about the one guy that was wrong for her on every level. This whole week was just one big cherry-topped shit sundae.
Tabitha finally came back to the table with a couple more shots, set one down in front of Shoshanna, and took a seat across from her. But her focus went right to the bartender, and Shoshanna knew exactly what Tabitha was going to say before she parted her red painted lips.
“I am so going home with him tonight,” Tabitha said and started to sip her shot. Shoshanna wanted to tell her that she was supposed to toss it back, not milk it like it was some kind of sophisticated drink.
But she kept her mouth shut, tipped her drink back, and went back to staring at Toby. God, for knowing him nearly her entire life she would have thought this desire for him would have faded, especially after she knew his reputation around town.
Living in the small town of Silver Springs meant everyone knew each other’s business, and there were no secrets and only scandals.
If there was one person in town that was considered a bad boy all around it was most definitely Toby Mason.
He was big and strong, feared by everyone in Silver Springs because of his reputation for fucking shit up that didn’t go his way. He had been like that during high school, too, having this confidence and strength that everyone noticed, and that no one wanted to challenge.
People moved out of his way on the sidewalks, no one badmouthed him, and the women seemed to want him even more because of it. She had known Toby since grade school, and once he had gone through puberty, it was like an avalanche of testosterone had moved through him. Had he just gone back to forgetting about her?
They were no longer in high school, and he was still the gorgeous, big, muscled bad boy that got pussy at the drop of a hat. She, on the other hand, was still the geeky girl with the chubby body, pin straight brown hair that couldn’t be styled, and black-rimmed glasses.
She might be a woman now, curvier and plump, but she was average on every fucking level. Even the girls that paid Toby attention now were thin, with perfectly styled blonde hair, big tits, and self-confidence that oozed from them.
She doubted he’d even realize she existed, because he certainly hadn’t when she was in school with him. But on the heels of that thought came the memory of them sitting on that bed, nearly kissing, and Toby telling her she was better than all of the shit the people said about her.