“Can you relay a message for me?”
Leaning against the door frame, Jamie shoves his hand through his shaggy brown hair. “Yeah. What do you want me to tell him?”
The last time I was here, I spoke to Drake. The time before that Tucker. I still haven’t received a return call or text from Preston. He hasn’t been to class in a week. From what I can tell, he hasn’t left this house at all.
“Tell Preston I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have involved him in all of this. This is my fault, and now he’s paying for it.”
“Wait… what?” Jamie’s eyebrows rise in confusion. “What are you talking about? Why is this your fault?”
Surprised, I say, “He didn’t tell you?”
He crosses his arms over his thick chest. “Tell me what?”
“Oh.” I bite my bottom lip. “I assumed he told you since you two are like brothers. What did he tell his parents about the fight?”
“That he reacted without thinking. Lehane and Preston have never gotten along. They’ve always gone after each other on the ice. But never like this. So, you’re saying you had something to do with the fight.”
“Yes,” I whisper. “I wish I could take it all back.”
“Bex, spit it out. What’s going on? Preston won’t talk to me, and now you’re being all cryptic.”
“Sorry. I don’t mean to be.”
I can’t share my past with Jamie. It was hard enough to let Preston in. Even though he’s close to Preston, I’m not comfortable telling Jamie about what brought us to this point.
“Let Preston know I came by, would you? Ask him to call me. If he’s feeling up to it.”
“Sure.” He clutches the door, about to close it when he says, “Your dad probably told you already, but Preston is suspended for the rest of the season, which means his college career is over. He’s upset right now. I don’t know what I would do if it were me, but I do know he’s not taking it well. He worked his ass off his entire life to get here, and now it might have been for nothing.”
I wipe a fallen tear from my cheek. “I can’t even imagine what he’s going through.”
“He’s a hot head. He just needs time. Okay?”
“Thanks, Jamie.”
He flashes a closed-mouth smile and then shuts the door, leaving me on the porch in tears.
I run away from the house, shielding my face with my arm. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I’m a mess.
When I finally stop, on the next street over, I bend over to catch my breath. The tears keep coming, coating my face, refusing to stop. My heart aches for Preston. I wish I could take away his pain, transfer all of it to me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Preston
My life is over. I’ve fucked up everything. All because I broke my own rules. I lived by the idea that hockey and women don’t mix. My dad drilled it into my head from the time I hit puberty. The second I started looking at girls, he was all over me, up my ass to stay focused. Because he could see how easy it would be for me to go astray.
Jamie knocks on my bedroom door, even though it’s open. He strolls into my room like he owns the joint and plops down on the edge of my bed. The mattress dips beneath his weight.
“Bex was here. Again. When are you going to man up and talk to her?”
“I don’t want to deal with anyone.” I prop myself up on the stack of pillows behind me to get comfortable. “You’re lucky I’m talking to you.”
“Prez, I know this feels like the end of the world, but your hand will heal, and when it does you can still play hockey.”
“You don’t know if that’s true. The doctor said anything can happen. We won’t know for sure until I heal if I’ll have the same range of motion in my hand. And what pro team will want someone who was suspended by the NCAA for violently attacking another player? I have no fucking shot of ever making it pro now.”
“With your dad’s connections, I’m sure he can find you a team.”
“I don’t want to play for some farm league or in fucking Russia. This was the dream. You, me, the guys and the NHL.”
“You’re too good to get passed over. Something has to come from this.”
“You don’t know that,” I challenge, not meaning to be an asshole to Jamie. “Sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m so fucking mad I can’t even think straight. I keep replaying that night over and over in my head. I fucked up so bad that no number of apologies or money can fix what I did. I have to live with the decision I made for the rest of my life.”
“Bex said to tell you she’s sorry for getting you involved. What was she talking about?”