It smells like him, his masculine scent filling my nostrils. I didn’t realize how I missed something as small as his scent. As I look up and into his eyes, my heart leaps out of my chest. He’s beautiful, if you can even say that about a man, all hard lines and chiseled features. I take in every inch of the face I’ve memorized in vivid detail burning every inch of him into my brain.
When I close my eyes at night, I think of him as I drift off to sleep. He’s even there when I wake up—his scent, his face, and every stunning part of him so real when he comes to mind. And he’s always on my mind. I’ve missed him so damn much I’m in physical pain without him.
“Hey? That’s all you have to say to me after avoiding me for an entire week?”
He sinks into his chair, fisting the test he must’ve gotten from the professor, his emerald irises fixed on me. Oh, how I’ve missed his eyes. I so often lose myself in them, unable to look away when he pins me down with one of his serious gazes.
“I’m sorry, Jade. I know I’m a fucking bastard, and you have every reason to hate me. But can we, at least, talk after class?” When I don’t answer, his bottom lip quivers a little bit. “Please,” he pleads, the desperation in his tone hitting me in the stomach.
I nod, the look on his face slicing deep inside my chest. He flashes a triumphant smirk, the right corner of his mouth turning up slightly, though I don’t miss that the sadness hasn’t left his eyes. I hate seeing him with his arm casted and in a sling, but what guts me the most is the looks he gives me. The man I’ve fallen in love with is still inside, and maybe with some time and work, we can get back to the place we once were.
After I hand in my exam, I exit the classroom and meet Killian in the hallway where he’s waiting on a bench biting his bottom lip. He’s nervous, and so am I, but he looks so damn sexy as he teeth graze his bottom lip. I want to be his lip right now.
Of course, Killian finished the final before me. He’s so damn smart that I hope he at least takes Jamie up on his offer to work for him on his new game. Killian has a future whether it’s in tech or hockey. I just hope he sees that before he ruins everything good in his life.
He stands and slings his bag over his shoulder as he approaches me. Towering over me, he stares down licking his lips like he wants to throw me over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Jade.” He reaches out to grab my hand, and I allow him to slip his fingers between mine. “I messed up. I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”
A gentle spark flickers between us. No matter how many times we touch, the feeling never dissipates. If anything, it only grows stronger with each day that passes.
“You hurt me, Killian.”
He leads me down the hall away from onlookers. When we hit a dead end, he pushes my back against the wall with his good hand on my shoulder. “I love you, baby. I meant what I said when I was high on pills. I know I fucked up beyond belief, and if you’re smart, you will tell me to fuck off and walk the other way, but I hope you don’t. I never needed anyone until I met you. I used to think I was doing everything for Finn and my mom, but now I want to be a better man for you. I still don’t deserve you. I will probably never do enough to deserve you. But I want to try… if you’ll let me.”
“Killian,” I whisper, my breath catching in my throat. He slides his hand up to my face and cups it in his big hand. “I love you, too. You know I do. But you can’t keep shutting me out when things don’t go your way. I get that you’re in a lot of pain. I can’t even imagine how you feel right now, but I do know that I wouldn’t have pushed you away. I would have wanted you by my side to help me navigate the rough patches.”
“I want that, too.” His deep voice sounds so desperate, a hint of sadness to his tone. “I swear if you give me one more chance, I will never do that to you again. I’ll work through my shit with you. Being apart has only made me see how much I need you. I never needed anyone in my life. I was always the one taking care of people, so when I started to feel dependent on you, it scared the fucking shit out of me. I didn’t know how to process how much I love you. Because in my experience, the things I love get taken away from me. Nothing I ever plan works out in the end.”