“That’s another reason we can’t be together. We graduate next week, and then, I’m off to Chicago for my internship. Dean will go back home to help his mom until the NHL Draft. We can’t date when we live two thousand miles away from each other.”
“It’s not like he wouldn’t stop in Chicago for games, and I’m sure you guys could work something out long distance.”
“My parents had to do that for years. Even before my mom had gotten sick, Duke said it was hard for her to not see my dad for long periods. Duke and Austin kept her company and helped take care of her when she got too sick to do things on her own. My dad didn’t have a choice. If he wanted to be able to afford the treatment my mom needed, he had to focus on his career. I don’t want to be in that position.”
“Stop focusing on the negatives,” Becca says, crossing her legs in front of her. “You shouldn’t shut Dean out of your life because of what happened to your parents.”
“I don’t want to end up alone, waiting around for someone who is hardly ever home. If you grew up the way I did, you would understand. My brothers are like parents to me, and that complicates everything.”
Becca taps me on the knee and smiles. “I get it, trust me I do. But this is Dean we are talking about. He would do anything for you.”
I nod. Becca is right about Dean. For years, he has been my rock. I have to make things right between us before it’s too late.
On my way to the health center, I run into Dean. He’s dressed in black basketball shorts and a cut-off shirt that shows every definition in his arms. It’s hard not to want him when he looks this good, but I promised myself that we could go back to being friends. And I plan to stick to that.
Hooking his arm around my back, Dean pulls me against his side. While this is normal, his gesture still feels like something a man would do with his girlfriend. We did this together, long before we had sex, making it even harder for me to distinguish between his actions.
“I’m glad you finally got over being a girl,” Dean says with laughter in his voice.
I glance up at him and smirk.
“Must I remind you that I am a girl, you stupid boy?”
He wiggles his eyebrows at me, and it’s so fucking cute I want to kiss him for it. “Oh, I know you’re a girl, Kitten.”
“Let’s not make this weird,” I tell him, afraid our conversation will take another bad turn.
Before we hooked up, conversations about sex were exactly that. I never spent much time reading into anything, since I never thought Dean was remotely interested in me. Now that I have noticed the shift in his behavior, I over analyze everything Dean says and does. I hate myself for doing it, but I have trouble separating those thoughts when we are together.
“Zero weirdness,” he says, opening the door to the clinic for me. “After you, Kitten.”
We walk down the long hall in silence, which never bothered either of us before. Now, it feels as though we have no idea what to say to each other. Dean treads lightly around me. I can tell he’s afraid he will do something wrong that will cause me to push him away again. I feel horrible for everything I put him through.
We stop in front of the counter and wait for the woman sitting behind it to look over her shoulder and acknowledge us.
“I hope you don’t have that Celiacs stuff,” Dean says so that only I can hear him. “I Googled it last night. It sounds like it sucks. You wouldn’t be able to eat deep dish pizza anymore.”
I smile at his words. “Nothing is going to stop me from eating pizza when I get home. I’ve been looking forward to it since my season ended.”
“I want to come for a visit after the Draft. I have to see if this pizza place is worth all the praise.”
“Oh, it’s worth it, all right.”
The nurse spins her chair around to face us, her face expressionless. “Name, please.”
I press my palms to the desk and lean forward. “Katherine Baldwin. I’m here to see Dr. Grady about my test results.”
She scrolls through the computer and clicks a few buttons. “Is your health insurance still the same?”
“I was just here four days ago.”
She gives me a serious look. “Yes or no?”
Dean coughs to hold back his laughter.
I nudge him on the arm while maintaining eye contact with Nurse Ratched. “Yes, it’s still the same.”
“Great. Have a seat.” Then, she turns around, as if we were never even there.