And that wasn’t him.
He carried her belongings into the apartment and Cleo followed him. When she closed the front door, the walls seemed to close in on him. He didn’t belong here. He didn’t belong with her.
She proceeded to give him the grand tour of her two-bedroom apartment. “And this is my sewing room. Don’t mind the mess. I’ve been working on an order for Robyn. Her older sister is pregnant and she wanted me to make some clothes and stitch up a comforter like I’d done for Stephie.”
His gaze took in the array of baby blue, yellow and green fabrics. The knife of guilt stabbed at him for even considering asking Cleo to spend her life with him. And when she held up little bib overalls and her face scrunched up into a huge smile as if she was imagining her own baby someday in the outfit, he couldn’t breathe.
He needed to leave. He needed space. Someplace where the pain wasn’t so severe. Where there weren’t reminders of everything he’d never have.
“I’ve got to go.” He started for the door.
“Leave? Where are you going? I thought you’d stay here until your flight to New York.”
“I—I can’t.”
“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting strange ever since we got here.”
He wanted to walk away without her hating him. The thought of her looking at him with loathing in her eyes made his stomach roil. There had to be a way to part on good terms. After all, soon he’d return to New York.
Maybe that was the answer. He could remind her that they led separate lives miles from each other. In no time, she’d get on with her life. She’d forget him. With her beauty, she could have any guy she set her heart on.
“I’m just tired.” He could feel her staring at him, trying to guess if he was telling the whole truth or not. “I thought I’d go back to the casino and make sure things are squared away there.”
“The casino?” A frown pulled at her face. “Are you tired of me?”
The sadness in her eyes cracked his resolve. “Of course not. I just... We can’t pretend that my life is here. I belong in New York. I have the court case coming up. I can’t back out now. Too much is at stake.”
Her eyes shimmered. “This thing that happened between us. Are you saying it was all a lie?”
He shook his head. “It was a beautiful dream. One I will always treasure.”
“Then why?” Her voice cracked with emotion. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because it isn’t fair to you.” The truth came tumbling out. “I can’t tie you down to a life with a cancer patient.”
“But you’re cured. You said your tests were clear.”
“But if it spread once there’s no reason to think that it might not recur. And I can’t put you through that. Living with this uncertainty is horrible.”
“But we can lean on each other. We can get through it together.”
She had an answer for everything. But he had something she couldn’t fix.
“And I can’t give you children.”
“I don’t want kids.” She said it way too fast—like a needy child desperate to say anything to get what they wanted without thinking of the ramification of their words.
“Your lips say one thing but your body says something else. I watched you just moments ago with that baby. I never saw that peaceful look on your face before. You were in your element. You practically glowed.”
“But...but—”
“There’s no but for this. I’ve tried to do this as nice as I could but you won’t let go. Cleo, your mother was right. I’m not the man for you. I take what I want and I wanted you.”
“Because you love me.”
He stilled himself, holding back the rush of emotions. He’d never lied to her, ever—until now. But it was necessary. It was for her own good. But when he searched for the words to deny his love for her, his voice failed him.
She stepped up to him and stabbed him in the chest. “You can’t deny it because it’s true. We’ve shared so much. We’re building something. We...we’re falling in love.”