I got, but with a whole lot of reluctance.
I went home to shower and change first. Luckily for me, Liander wasn't there, because the last thing I needed was to go through the whole explaining thing again. I just wanted to get over to Quinn's, discover what I had to discover, and then make any decisions I had to make.
It was still very early in the morning, so the traffic hadn't yet reached its peak. I parked in the Langham hotel's underground lot, then made my way up to Quinn's suite.
One there, I dug the key card out of my wallet and swiped it through the slot. The lock clicked and I pushed the door open. The suite was dark, but I could hear the soft timbre of breathing coming from the bedroom. I doubted he'd be asleep. Not now that I was in the room. The beat of my heart was a cadence that would have woken him immediately.
I took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension that was rolling though my body. It didn't help-nothing would. Not until I had my answers. I forced my feet forward, stripping down as I went, scattering shoes and clothes haphazardly across the lush carpet.
He reached for me the minute I slipped in beside him. Every muscle was so tightly wound that his caress felt like a blow. I shuddered a little and tried to relax. But how could I do that when what happened in the next few minutes might be the end of a relationship that had barely begun to blossom?
"You're later than I thought you might be," he said, kissing my cheek, my neck, my shoulder. "Were there problems with the job?"
"Let's just say there were some discoveries made that have caused monumental problems."
I ran my fingers down his cheek and lightly across his lips. He kissed each fingertip gently. And again, it felt like a blow.
"You're very tense," he commented, his dark eyes on mine. "Would you like me to draw you a scented bath?"
"No." Because how on earth could I relax until I knew? "I'd much rather be kissed senseless until everything else just slips away."
Please let it all slip away.
Please let it be like its always been.
"That I can also do." A smile curved his lips as he gathered me in his arms.
For the briefest of moments, something within me fought his touch. Fought him. And the fear surged.
No, I thought. No.
Then his lips were on mine, and I forced myself to relax. Thrust away the fear, and concentrated instead on the kiss, on his scent, on the heat of his body pressing so close to mine.
The tension within seemed to ease a little, and while the ice didn't melt, I didn't have any immediate urge to reject him, either.
But was I supposed to have such an urge?
Ben had never really explained the finer points of sex once he'd met his soul mate. All he'd said was that he simply didn't want another partner when she was alive.
Concentrate, I thought. Don't think. Don't worry. Just do.
But it was easier thought than done.
The tension continued to roll through me in waves, but as his kisses and caresses moved down my body, a dreamy sense of enjoyment soon joined it. It wasn't the heat and the fire that marked many of our encounters, but then, it didn't need to be.
Slow was good, too.
He continued to tease me, touch me, tasting and exploring every part of my body with his hands and his tongue, making every inch of me tingle. Every inch of me ache with wanting him.
Wanting not just him, but the truth.
I needed the answer, more than I'd needed anything in my entire life.
"Please," I whispered, with an urgency he couldn't yet understand.
He chuckled softly, then wrapped his free hand around my neck and kissed me hard. As his mouth claimed mine, he slid into me. It felt good, and it felt right, as if in that one moment of unity, our souls had merged and danced as one-and all I wanted to do was cry in relief.
It might not be as strong as what I'd felt with Kye, but it was there, and it was real, and it meant that I had the choice. That I didn't have to destroy what had only just begun.