He could feel Kat’s gaze on him. She was waiting for an answer, but there was nothing more he could say to her.
He didn’t know what he felt for her. Yes, he wanted her. Yes, he cared for her more than he’d cared for any other woman since Jacinta. And he’d already told her both those things. If that wasn’t enough, then too bad, because he wasn’t going to lie.
But at the same time, he had to wonder if he was lying to himself.
He slammed the car door shut, then glanced skyward. Though he could no longer see the moon, the power of it thrummed through his veins. But there was a very different feel about that force now. It was intense, yes, but it was also controllable. In past months, past years, he’d spent this day in bed, unable to do anything more than sate his moon-spun lust with a willing woman. He’d never been fussy about who his partners were, and while in recent years he’d started seeing the same few faces, it hadn’t always been that way.
Yet right now, he didn’t hunger for just any woman, only the one, and the mere act of thinking about her had blood surging to his groin. But it wasn’t the must-have-you-now heat of a werewolf in the midst of rutting fever. It was deeper than that. Richer than that.
Love.
But a werewolf couldn’t love twice. That was part of what they were. Part of the law of the moon. Once his heart had been given, there was no going back. There were no second chances. He couldn’t love Kat because he had loved Jacinta.
Hadn’t he?
For the first time in his life, he wasn’t so sure. But he wasn’t about to say anything to Kat. He didn’t want to raise her hopes only to dash them again. And if he couldn’t love her, he couldn’t stay in her life. He might hunger for her, but she deserved far more than that.
Yet even the thought of leaving her formed a cold, hard lump in his gut.
He took a deep breath, then turned and walked around the car. She was still watching him, her big green eyes both warm and wary.
“All set,” he said, stopping beside Gwen.
“I’ll just go check the kiddies a final time.” Gwen reached up and kissed his cheek. “You be careful, wolf. And if all else fails, talk to your brother.”
He gave her a sharp glance, but she merely smiled and turned away. He returned his gaze to Kat’s. “What did she mean?”
Her shrug was tired. “I don’t know.”
He touched her cheek, running his fingers down to the warm mouth he couldn’t seem to taste enough. A tremor ran through her and her lips parted, as if she couldn’t breathe enough air. This close to her, he felt exactly the same way.
It had never been like this with Jacinta. Intense, exciting, and lustful, yes. But the air had never burned with heat the minute she walked into a room, and her smile had never done strange things to his heart.
“Tell me what happened by the stream,” he said softly.
Her gaze searched his, then she sighed. It was a mournful sound. “You thought I was Jacinta.”
That explained the hurt he sensed in her. “And?”
Her gaze slide away. “And you said some crazy things to the moon.”
So he had performed the ceremony. Yet the moon binding couldn’t have worked if it had been Jacinta he’d been seeing in his mind. And it certainly hadn’t been Jacinta’s name he’d howled to the moon. That much he did remember.
“Did you take the condoms from my pocket to hide the fact we hadn’t used them?” It was a guess, but it was a fairly safe one.
“Believe me, we didn’t create life last night.” Her voice was almost bitter, but there was an undercurrent that troubled him.
“How can you be so certain?” Because if he’d performed that ceremony, she would be pregnant. New life was part of the moon’s gift and always the final outcome. But even if he hadn’t finished the spell, werewolves tended to be extremely fertile while in moon fever.
The image of her pregnant, her belly round and full with his child, sent a surge of fierce satisfaction through his veins. He wanted that image. Desperately.
Her gaze flashed to his. “I’m a witch. We know these things.”
He cupped her cheek again, then leaned forward and brushed a kiss across her sweet lips. “When I drop off Janie and Karen, I’m coming back.” For you, he thought, but didn’t say the words aloud.
Her gaze searched his. “Why?”
“Because we need to talk.”