Funny. Two minutes ago, I was naked and rocking under Jake, but when he comes back around the corner and gathers his shirts off the floor, I feel awkward and self-conscious. His shoulders are tense, and stress is written all over his face.
“Mom’s in the hospital.” He tugs his undershirt on over his head.
I blink, and my worries about me and Jake fizzle away, replaced with concern for Kathleen. “What happened?”
“She fell—broke her ankle and hit her head pretty good. Shay found her passed out on the floor in her bathroom. They’re still in the ER, but they’re getting Mom a room.” He tugs on his shirt, but he doesn’t look at me. He’s already on his way home.
My heart swells and aches all at once. Some guys would call to check in and then crawl back into bed, but this is Jake. Steadfast. Loyal. Reliable. He’s there for his family whether they need him there or not, and if there’s anything he can do to help, he will.
And he’s the same for me.
Shivering, I tighten the robe around me.
“Ellie and Colton will take you home so you don’t have to miss your brother racing.”
“Sure.”
Jake throws his toothbrush and outfit from the track into his bag and zips it up before turning to me. He’s been all business since Levi left, but his expression softens as his eyes meet mine. “Hey.” He drops the bag and comes around to my side of the bed. He cups my jaw in his hand as he studies me. “Are you okay?”
I shiver again. “I’m fine.”
His lips quirk, but there’s no humor in his eyes. “You only say that when you’re not.” He strokes the back of his hand up the side of my neck. “I’m sorry I have to go. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“I know you will.” Because that’s who you are. The back of my eyes sting with tears, and I just want him to leave before I cry. “I hope Mom’s okay,” I whisper.
He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine. “Me too.”
Then his mouth is on mine, gentle at first, before turning coaxing and deeper, and when he pulls away we’re both breathless, both staring at each other. Am I the only one who has some thinking to do, or has he been rocked by tonight as well?
“I’ll text you when we get back to Jackson Harbor,” he says softly. “Try to have fun tomorrow.”
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I nod. He sweeps a final kiss across my lips before slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading out the door.
I listen to the heavy door click closed and crawl into bed, where I draw my knees to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut.
Jake offered to give me a child because that was what I wanted. I was going to let him because my wish to be a mother made me blind to my own selfishness, and maybe more than that. Maybe on some level I knew I wanted the nights with Jake too. But suddenly, I’m greedy for more.
Ava
Five years ago . . .
Looking my fiancé in the eye isn’t easy. I told him that Jake kissed me, that Jake said he was in love with me. That confession alone wouldn’t have been so bad, but I’m a full-disclosure kind of girl. When I told him, I confessed that I kissed Jake back, that I felt something I shouldn’t feel.
Harrison looks at me differently now, and tonight the questions in his eyes mirror the questions in my heart. I slide the steaks onto plates and toss sliced tomatoes, peppers, and olives into the salad.
Harrison is very traditional, and he waits at the dinner table while I serve. He’s said that’s how he was raised, and he always thought there was something special in the way his mom treated his father. He believes that’s the secret to their lasting marriage. When I saw his mother in action, I decided I’d give Harrison the same treatment she gave her husband. Tonight, however, having him watch me as I bring the plates and bowls to the table, I feel less like the adored spouse and more like the chastised servant.
That’s just your guilty conscience, Ava.
When all the food is on the table and I’m finally in my seat, he pours me a glass of wine.
“Have you thought any more about a wedding date?” he asks.
“Maybe we shouldn’t set one yet.” My voice gets caught on the emotion in my throat and hitches, and then my eyes fill with hot tears. I love Harrison, and I’m so angry at Jake right now for ruining days that should be full of excitement and celebration. I’m also mad at myself. If those old feelings hadn’t come rushing to the surface the second his mouth came down on mine, I’d have been able to brush this off. I’d be planning my wedding right now instead of hurting the man I love.
“Because of Jake?” Harrison asks.
I shrug. We both know the answer to that question.