“Telling you makes it real. She doesn’t want to leave you, Jake. Whether or not she feels the way about you that you do about her, I don’t know. But she does care about you. You need to do something before she walks away.”
Ava
I didn’t expect to spend my Saturday night talking until two a.m. with Carter Jackson. But the Jacksons have always been like family to me, and once Carter and I got over the awkwardness of having been set up together, we relaxed and had a good time.
I didn’t even realize how badly I’d needed someone to talk to until Carter and I started catching up. Then it all spilled out of me. He’s a good listener—always has been. He’s the quietest of the Jackson brothers, next to Brayden, who’s cornered the market on tall, dark, and silent. I talked, and Carter listened, and before we knew it, we were closing down the bar.
It wasn’t the kind of date Ellie had hoped for me, but it was a good night. I’m glad we found ourselves there together, even if all it meant was catching up with an old friend.
Nevertheless, it left me really tired, even at noon. I’m nursing another cup of coffee and actively fantasizing about a nap when I hear the scrape of a key in the lock and the sound of heavy footsteps headed toward my kitchen.
Jake appears at the table, pulls out a chair, spins it around, and straddles the back of it. “Hot date last night, huh?”
Of course. It’s Sunday. Jackson family brunch. I bet my date with Carter was great fodder for conversation. “Totally hot,” I say. “He’s probably my soul mate.”
Jake grunts and flicks his gaze down to the stack of papers in front of me before bringing it back up to study my face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I frown. “That I was set up with Carter? I haven’t even seen you.”
He shakes his head, and I realize what he means. My job. My move. I feel a bit betrayed. While I never told Carter that he couldn’t tell Jake, I thought discretion was implied.
“Carter told you?”
He sets his jaw and nods. “You lost your job and didn’t say a word to me.”
“You’d have tried to fix it, Jake. Look at you, sitting there with the wheels turning in your head already trying to come up with a solution. I need to do this on my own.” I swallow hard and drop my gaze to the table. “And I need to do the baby thing on my own, too. I can’t let you fix everything that’s wrong in my life.”
“You still want a baby. You just don’t want one with me?”
My heart twists. “Everything’s so confusing right now. I think you’re great and I know you’d be an amazing father. But the truth is, I didn’t really think about the consequences of our plans.”
“Consequences?”
“If we have a baby together, there will be consequences for that child. For you. If you found someone and it didn’t work because of me, because of a favor you did for me, I couldn’t live with myself. I’m sorry I never thought it through.”
“You’re worried about me?”
His shock makes me shrink in shame. Of course he’s only thinking of me. Because he’s Jake. I swallow back the emotion that’s trying to bubble into my voice. “You give me more than I deserve and I . . . I’m going to try to be better. To take less of you.”
“I never asked you to take less,” he says under his breath. “Never.”
“I know. You wouldn’t. That’s why I need to do better and not let you give so much.” Emotion is a ball of cotton in my throat, suffocating me. I feel like I’m breaking up with him, and that’s so ridiculous because we’ve never been together. Not for real. “One day, you’re going to find someone who’s as awesome as you are. Someone you want to spend your life with.”
He lets out a sardonic laugh and shakes his head. “You think I haven’t already found her?”
I stare at him, hope building inside me even as I try to push it down.
“Christ.” He pushes his chair back and stands then tugs me out of mine. “Come here.”
He draws me against his chest, and in the next moment, his hands are in my hair and his mouth is on mine. I’ve wanted this since the moment he walked out of the hotel room, and feeling his mouth on me now is enough to make all my worries disintegrate.
When he pulls away, he holds my face in his hands and meets my gaze. “I want you. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to make you see me as more than a friend for the first time in our entire lives.”
“But you . . . I thought . . .” I can’t seem to put words together, or even thoughts. “I know we’re attracted to each other, but what about our friendship?”
“Christ, Ava, I’m in love with you. So in love with you that I stood by your side while you married another man. So in love with you that I can’t move the fuck on until I know without a doubt in my mind that you don’t feel this too. I’m pretty sure I was born in love with you, and every moment we’re together, this thing I feel becomes more of who I am.” He shakes his head slowly and scans my face. “I don’t want to scare you away, but I can’t pretend anymore. I want you, and if you think there’s any chance . . .”
“I want you too.” I nod wildly. “I love you, and I w