“They’re actually not doing it,” Ellie says. “She got me all excited about being an auntie, but at this rate we’re all going to see the dawn of the next century before those two actually copulate.” She props her elbows on the table and leans forward. “I think they missed the day in health class when they taught about how the penis has to go inside the vagina for babies to get made.”
Shay drags a hand over her face. “Maybe I’ll leave, and you can text me when you’re done talking about my brother’s penis?”
I dip my gaze and focus on my beer instead of all the curious eyes pointed in my direction. “We’re taking it slow.” I nibble on my bottom lip. “It’s been nice, actually. I was in such a rush to have a baby, and I still want that, but . . . there are a few other things that have taken priority.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have sex,” Ellie says. “Because condoms?”
Nic smacks her arm. “Stop it. I think it’s sweet.”
It turns out Jake was serious when he said we’d take it slow. He hasn’t done anything more than kiss me since that afternoon in my kitchen. That and some heavy over-the-clothes petting against the bar after we closed last night. He kissed my neck and whispered dirty words, then rubbed me through my jeans until I came. I wanted to go to bed with him so badly afterward that I nearly screamed when he kissed me goodnight and sent me home.
“We’ve both been really busy,” I say. “Slow makes sense.” Even if it is making me crazy.
“You’re coming to the cabin with us next weekend, right?” Nic asks.
I bite my bottom lip and nod. I’ve been to the Jackson family cabin many times before. It was a home away from home for me when I was a teenager. But this is the first time I’ll be there as Jake’s girlfriend—and it will be the first time we’ve spent the night together since we confessed our feelings. “Is it stupid that I’m nervous?”
Shay laughs. “Yes. Totally stupid. You two have been a couple for two decades without even realizing it. Nothing’s changed.”
“Colton and I can’t make it,” Ellie says. “His team needs him in town to test out the new bike they’ve been working on. So if Jake wears out your hoo-ha and you need a timeout, I won’t be there to protect you.”
Teagan groans. “Please never refer to a vagina as a hoo-ha ever again.”
“Just because your vagina is sad doesn’t mean I can’t give mine a happy name.”
“You hanging in there?” Jake asks me on Friday night. We snuck outside after dinner, and we’re standing here with our backs against the house, our faces tilted up to the sky. The night is warm, and the blanket of stars over the cabin is the perfect reminder of why I love this part of Michigan so much.
I nod. “I feel like this is the first chance I’ve had to catch my breath all week.”
We’re at the cabin with his family, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
This week has been one unbelievable and emotionally exhausting turn of events after another. Tuesday, I did a Skype interview for the job in Florida. It turns out that Colton was right, and it isn’t just Dad’s influence that had them coming after me with such gusto. Seaside Community Schools is looking for a candidate who can start a summer theater program from the ground up—which is exactly what I did in Jackson Harbor, except in Seaside the children’s theater director position would be paid, whereas here my long hours are done on a volunteer basis.
Then today was my last day at Windsor Prep. My drama kids cried and so did I, but I reminded them that we’ll see each other all summer while they help with the children’s theater.
Colton’s right about my fear of change. I’ve always been that way, and now it’s no different. Jake encouraged me to take the interview for the Seaside position, even if we don’t know where the move will leave us. He wants me to make an informed decision, and I just want an excuse to rule out anything that takes me away from him.
Jake’s hand finds mine, and I hold my breath as he slowly threads our fingers together and strokes the back of my knuckles with his thumb.
I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for us to make love—which is crazy, because if someone had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have lied and said I wasn’t interested in sleeping with Jake at all. Now, all he has to do is walk into a room and I’m warm from my cheeks all the way down to my toes, aware of my body in a way I haven’t been in a long time—maybe ever. I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped thinking of myself sexually, but I had, and now I’m a bit obsessed. I think about it all the time—his hands, his mouth, how it will feel the first time he’s inside me.
“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” he asks.
“I’m wondering if you’re ever going to do more than kiss me,” I say, gathering every bit of my bravery. “If you ever plan to finish what you started at the hotel.”
He releases my hand and turns to stand with a leg on either side of mine. He leans over me, his hands against the side of the house. “I promise I’m going to finish what I started.” His gaze sweeps over my face before he slowly lowers his mouth. I draw in a breath as his lips sweep across mine. God, it’s good.
Every cell in my body seems to expand at his touch. It’s like flowers blooming or the sun rising or butterflies breaking free from their cocoons—he does that to me all over.
One hand slides under my shirt and up my side. “But if you’re wondering if I’m going to do it here,” he says, his thumb stroking the underside of my breast, “the answer is no. I can’t. There are too many ears around, and the first time I’m inside you, I’m going to make you come so hard you can’t help but scream.”
My breath catches and my back arches, my body desperate for more of his touch. “What if I’m not a screamer?”
His lips quirk. “We’ll see . . .”
“What if I disappoint you?” I mean it to sound like a joke, a reference to the idea of me s
creaming when I’ve never screamed during sex in my life. But instead, the words sound a little shaky. A little too vulnerable. A little too insecure. I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint him in so many ways, and I think we both know it.