“I’m glad to hear it. I know you’re an awesome dad and you’d give Abi everything she needs, but it’s good that her mom still wants a relationship with her.”
“They have a great relationship, actually. Scarlett spoils her a little, but she loves her madly.” I study Shay’s dark eyes and feel a pang of regret that I didn’t try to keep up with her while I was in L.A. Once I had to let her go the second time, I just didn’t trust myself, but regardless of what else happens between us, I do want us to be friends, and she doesn’t know anything about my daughter’s mother. “Scarlett’s not a bad person, Shay. She’s just . . . She was brought up in L.A., in the middle of all the money and fame. Her parents weren’t like ours. They had totally screwed-up priorities and don’t understand what life is like for normal people. Scarlett really has matured since becoming a mother.”
“I thought she was nice when I met her.”
I frown. “You met her? This last time she was in Jackson Harbor?”
“No, I met her after Dad’s funeral. She . . .” Shay cocks her head to the side. “You didn’t know she came to talk to me?”
Well, fuck. “No. I didn’t.” The words come out with a bite Shay doesn’t deserve.
Shay shakes her head. “It wasn’t a big deal. She just wanted me to understand why you were staying married.”
My stomach sours. “She shouldn’t have done that. I wanted to tell you myself.”
“But I wasn’t taking your calls.”
I look away. It hurts to remember those days. The grief of losing Frank to cancer and losing Shay to circumstance. The panic and fear of watching my daughter fight for her life.
“Hello, Shayleigh.”
I blink away my memories as Professor Douche steps up to the bench where Shay and I are sitting.
“George,” she says tightly. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just at your apartment. I wanted to check on you.” His gaze is all over her, and I want to punch him. This asshole is married, and he just went to her apartment. I’d bet my Laguna house he was going to try to talk her into bed while he was “checking” on her. “How are your revisions coming?”
She flinches, and I wonder if it’s worry about her dissertation or anger that she’s trying hard to keep off her face. “They’re fine. I’m almost done.”
“They need to be in by Monday.”
“Not a problem.”
His gaze shifts to me, and he chuckles, shaking his head before turning his eyes back to Shay. “Looks like you were right about him.”
She stiffens. “George—”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
George shrugs. “She said you only fuck her when it’s convenient for you. And here you are. I figured that was why she ended things, but she wouldn’t admit it.” He laughs again as he walks away. “You two enjoy yourselves.”
When I pull my eyes off the asshole hipster to look at Shay, she’s staring at the ground. “You told him that I only fuck you when it’s convenient for me?”
She closes her eyes. “He put words in my mouth. They might have felt true, but I didn’t say it.”
I flinch. They felt true. “You haven’t told him that you know about his wife, have you?”
“No,” she whispers. “I haven’t seen him and haven’t wanted to.” Standing, she tosses the remnants of her cone in the trash can then wraps her arms around herself and shivers. “Can you take me and Lilly back to my car? I want to go home.”
“What will you do if he shows up?” I’m not entitled to this jealousy—this anger. But I wield it anyway. “You said your heart’s not broken, but Shayleigh, if you could see what I see when you look at him—”
“I’m not heartbroken over him, Easton.” She swallows and her eyes brim with tears. “I’m heartbroken over what he made me by hiding his marriage. I haven’t even told his wife yet.” She presses the back of her hand to her mouth. “I’m trying to cope with the fact that I pushed away the man I . . .” She swallows. “I didn’t talk to you for years because I didn’t want to be the reason your daughter lost her father, but now I may very well be the reason this other little girl loses hers, and I didn’t even love him.”
She’s killing me. “Shay—”
“I can’t talk about it anymore tonight.”
I want to hold her, but every time I process her words, I hear the truth. I’m the root cause of this pain. “I pushed away the man I loved.” She loved me. She didn’t say the word, but I heard it anyway. Part of me has always known it, even if she never said it. Now it’s just a matter of finding out if I can earn that love again.