“So you’re her babysitter now?”
“No. I’m the father.” Maybe the apology that’s all over his face should soften the blow of that news, but it doesn’t.
Max and Meredith had a baby together.
I back toward the door.
“Hanna,” he whispers. “Can we talk about this?”
I shake my head and grasp for the knob. Rushing out onto the deck, I come face to face with Meredith, her pink-painted lips pursed in a self-satisfied smirk.
“Desperate much?” she asks.
“Fuck you,” I breathe.
She cuts her eyes to the door then back to me before she smiles. When she speaks, it’s for my ears only. “Thanks, but I’ll leave that to Max.”
I don’t believe her. Not really. But her words still make me feel small and ugly, and when I make it back to my apartment, I do the only thing I know to soothe the hurt. I text Nate.
Five Days Before Hanna’s Accident
HERE I am again. Another night with her in my bed. Another weekend with her at my house. Another morning waking with Hanna in my arms when I know damn well she belongs somewhere else.
I don’t want her to leave. The realization hit me hard when she walked in my door last night, and I haven’t been able to shake it. She’s amazing. I’ve watched her win over Janelle, and now they talk like old friends. Then there’s the way I feel when she’s around—like I’ve been breathing with collapsed lungs and suddenly they’re expanding again.
Here we are, suspended in time. Both of us escaping from the real world waiting on the other side of the door. Right now, I just want to watch her sleep and indulge in the fantasy of this being my life. What would that be like? Every morning waking up to her smell, my hand between her full breasts, her ass nestled against my cock. What would it be like to walk in the door and hear her laughter carrying through my house?
She saw the pictures of Vivian kissing me. They were all over the freaking magazines, but when I asked her about it, she shrugged it off. Didn’t say a word. Part of me wanted her to be pissed. To see her throw things and tell me I’m an unworthy asshole. I wanted to be worth that kind of reaction, which is completely unfair when I’m the one who keeps insisting that we can’t be more.
Vivian wants more, but I told her that she needs to take some time and finalize her divorce. She’s a good woman—one of the best—and an amazing mom, and part of me will always love her, but we can’t rush into a relationship that could confuse Collin. We both need to be sure that’s what we want.
“Something’s holding you back,” she said after I ended the kiss that was splashed all over the internet.
I shrugged. “This isn’t a decision we can make on an impulse.”
“You’re in love with her,” she said.
“Who?”
She gave me a sad smile. “I don’t know. I just know you love her. I can see it in your eyes.”
“It’s not serious. She’s hung up on somebody else, and…”
“Tell her how you feel,” Vivian said, squeezing my arm. “She needs to know.”
“How do you know I haven’t already?”
“Because I know you.”
I nodded. “I won’t do that to Collin. He’s my family. I don’t need anyone else.”
Vivian’s sweet face was sad as she studied me. “Don’t use Collin as an excuse to put walls around your heart. Whoever she is, she’s already found her way in. Think about what you’re doing before you push her away.” She stepped back and released my arm. “She’s a lucky girl.”
Hanna smiles in her sleep and settles her hand flat against her belly, her fingertips meeting the hair between her legs. What does a woman like Hanna dream about? The ex-boyfriend she won’t tell her family is an ex? Or have I found my way into her dreams? She moans as her hips lift off the bed and toward some invisible lover. Jealousy flashes through me. I don’t want her dreaming about anyone but me. Not while she’s in my bed.
I sweep my lips across hers and down her neck, licking and nipping at the sensitive skin until she arches under me, and her hands roam over my bare chest.
“Good morning,” I murmur.