“I finally believe that.” And I finally see how much damage I did by not believing it sooner. I press a hand to his chest, and his skin is hot against my fingers. I trace the line of hair between his pecs and over his stomach, down to the dragon tattoo on the V of his pelvis, and he draws in a sharp breath. “Do you mean what you said about that night at the gallery?”
“The gallery?”
I take him in my fist. His eyes shut and he clenches his fists at his sides, hanging on to control.
“What I said?” he manages.
“About the first time you kissed me? About what you wanted from me that night?” I move over him in long strokes. “Do you still feel that way?”
“It’s different now,” he says. “I want you just as much—more—than I did then, but I love you too. I love you so much that I want to give you everything. I want to make you happy and safe. And when you told me that you wanted to wait for marriage, those two desires came into direct conflict with each other.” He kisses the inside of my wrist, then my palm. “I guess I’m a little slow, though. I thought what you wanted was to wait. But what you really meant”—he forces his gaze back to mine—“and help me out here, because I’m not fluent in female—”
I giggle, and the seriousness of his expression breaks for a minute.
“—you meant that you needed to believe you were beautiful, needed to see what I see, before we made love.”
I can’t do anything but give him a sad smile, because that’s exactly what I needed. He dips his head and brushes a kiss across my lips and in the corners of my eyes.
“I think you speak female okay,” I whisper.
He cuffs both of my hands behind my back with one of his. “I can’t think when you’re touching me like that.” He runs his free hand up the side of my body and works his tongue at my neck, and I arch toward him in response, my breasts pressing against his chest.
“Please,” I murmur as his thumb circles my navel.
I can feel his sigh in the crook of my neck when he says, “I love you, Hanna.”
“I love you too.” A single, hot tear rolls down my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Me too, baby. Me too.”
I’M KISSING her. My hands are in her hair and my mouth is on hers, and I’m so desperate to drink her in that I don’t stop her when I feel her reaching for my cock again. I’m already lost.
She tears her mouth from mine and presses kisses to my neck and across my pecs and abs. When she skims her tongue over my tattoo, I have to pull her back to me. All those months we were together, she insisted any time we touch be about me. I can’t let this first time back together be that way. I need to show her.
I lead her to the bedroom and turn on the lights.
When I step back to look at her, she lets me. None of the insecure covering or turning off the lights she used to do. She lets me look my fill.
I rake my eyes over her again and again, drinking her in. “You woke up without your memory, and you just assumed you’d gotten over all of your hang-ups over the last year.” I step closer so I can feel her breasts against my chest. I slide my hand between her legs as I whisper in her ear. “It was a miracle to me because you were suddenly willing to let me see you. To let me touch you. And when we were in the steam room and I got to kiss you for the first time here…” I brush my knuckles over her. She’s already wet, and I’m dying to slide my fingers inside her, to feel her wrapped around them as I make her come. She digs her nails into my shoulders and shudders in pleasure at the faint contact. I want more. Need more. “I felt so damn guilty for keeping the whole truth from you, but I’m an asshole, Hanna. I’m a fucking selfish ass who had to bury his face between your legs before you remembered—to show you pleasure, to prove to you how fucking much I want you.” My knuckles brush again, and she gasps, her fingers curling into my triceps now. “I crave you. I fucking need you. You accused me of keeping my distance from you after the accident, said I would have spent more time with you if I’d really wanted to be with you. The truth is that, after the night in the steam room, I didn’t trust myself. I knew you’d let me take you. You would have let me that night. I didn’t trust myself to keep touching you without fucking you.”
She whimpers. “You could have.”
“Exactly. I dream about fucking you. Your legs wrapped around me while I slide into you or biting this sensitive spot on your neck while I fuck you from behind.” I nip to show her where, and she rocks her hips into my touch. “You’re looking for someone who loves your body as much as your mind? I’m your man, Hanna. Just give me a chance to show you.”
When I pull back, her eyes are half closed, her lips parted. “Show me,” she whispers.
I shouldn’t. Not when things are so confused and complicated between us. Not when she’s so emotional and vulnerable.
“It’s okay.” She brings her hand to my cheek. “I need this. I need you. More than ever.”
I kiss her then, trailing kisses along her jaw and down her breasts. When I stop and draw a nipple into my mouth, she cries out and buries her hands in my hair, holding me there. My cock is so damn hard it aches, but I lower to my knees and press my mouth between her legs. She gasps as my tongue hits her clit. Widening her stance instinctively, she keeps those hands in my hair as I lick her, taste her, find her with my hand, and pump my fingers inside her. She tightens her hand in my hair, and I wrap my lips around her clit and suck.
There is nothing as sexy as fingering Hanna while she rocks her hips against my face. She tugs at my hair, and I know she’s close. I slide a second finger inside her while I add suction to her clit. She screams and bucks, and it’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
When I stand, she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me hard. I move us to the bed and pause when I’m hovering over her. “I didn’t bring a condom.” I didn’t expect tonight to end like this. “I’m clean, but if you want…”
She shakes her head. “I’ve never had sex without a condom. I want you to be that first.”
My chest is tight, and I swallow hard as I slowly slide into her. She’s so tight and slick, and I don’t know how I’m going to last, but she arches against me and moans, and I know I’ll find a way to make this last—to make sure she comes again while I’m inside her.