I hated hearing her say that. I’d never met anyone I was so compatible with. “That’s not true and I don’t think you believe it, either. If you can forgive me, then we can go back to—”
“To what? We had a fling on a yacht for a few weeks. You said yourself that the ‘logistics were challenging’.”
“If you’re telling yourself it was just a fling then you are a liar.”
She didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. We both knew what we had wasn’t some kind of fleeting, throwaway connection.
“I’m not saying it won’t have challenges,” I said. “But I like to face my battles—and win them. I’m not going to slink away because it might be too difficult. You’re worth more than that.”
She glanced back to the boat. “It’s not just that.” She paused and as her eyes flickered over my face, I could see she was trying to decide whether or not to tell me what she was thinking. “I just don’t think I can. I saw the promise of something when you and I were together, Hayden. I need you to be the man I thought you were. The one who was in my corner, who respected me, believed me to be on his side. I deserve that man.”
“You do,” I replied, trying to keep my voice from breaking. She was right. I wasn’t good enough for her. “And I want to be that man for you. Perhaps I wasn’t then but meeting you has changed so much for me. More than that, losing you turned my world upside down and made me reassess everything. I can’t lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life working to be the man who deserves you.”
Silence surrounded us. I didn’t want to even breathe in case I missed the next thing she said.
“I need to go,” she said.
Had I lost her? I couldn’t just walk away. I pulled out a business card. “My mobile number is on this card. Promise you’ll meet me when this charter is over. That’s just five days away.”
“You’re going to fly back in five days?”
“No.” I shook my head and I was certain I saw a trace of disappointment flicker over her face. “I’m not leaving Miami. Not until I’ve convinced you that I love you.”
Her teeth caught her bottom lip, but she reached out and took the card. I wanted to grab her, kiss her, hold her, but I held back. I shouldn’t push her, no matter how hard I wanted to. Not yet, not now.
“I have to go,” she said.
“Promise me. Five days.”
“I won’t make promises I don’t know if I can keep. But I promise I’ll call to let you know.”
It was a small victory, but I’d take it. I was impatient to get to the bit where I could kiss her, hold her. When she’d be mine.
She looked back down the jetty. “I really have to go.”
I couldn’t bring myself to respond. I didn’t want to say goodbye.
“I’ve missed you,” I said. She nodded and turned, then made her way back to the yacht.
She glanced over her shoulder as she walked away and gave me a small smile. I’d do anything it took for that not to be the last smile of hers I saw.
Thirty-Eight
Avery
I had a mammoth decision to make and for the first time in a long time I didn’t know what to do. My heart had been thudding through my chest all morning. We were just off the coast of Bermuda and Captain Moss had pulled up the anchor to take our guests back to shore. This was it. The charter was almost over, and that meant I owed Hayden Wolf a phone call.
His dog-eared, ragged business card was under my pillow, which was where I’d kept it since he’d given it to me. Each night, I’d take it out, turn it over in my hand and ask myself whether I should call.
Because I wanted to. I really wanted to.
He believed me, and I’d long forgiven him for questioning my loyalty and character.
And I loved him. I truly loved him. And he said he loved me.
So it was simple, right? I should just call him.
The problem was, I’d hurt so much during these months since he’d left the yacht. The pain had been raw and visceral but I was beginning to heal. Sort of. At least, I had accepted a future without him. Then he showed up five days ago, while I was trying to plan a future that didn’t include him. Things had been made easier because I knew he hated me. And because he clearly hadn’t shared the deep, fundamental feelings I had for him. I wouldn’t have assumed the worst of him and called him a liar. The imbalance in our feelings made it easier to see the future without him.