“I’m not jealous.” I am 100 percent jealous. It doesn’t matter if I have no right to it. It wouldn’t even matter if I’d ever gotten the courage to admit my feelings to Broderick. Finnegan and Iris are dating, and that didn’t stop Abel from assigning him Matteo of the Mystics as Bride. They were expected to put their relationship on hold, at least long enough for the handfasting to be consummated.
It doesn’t matter what I might have done if I were braver; Broderick and Monroe would still be handfasted, they still would have consummated it the night of Lammas, and things would still be unbearably awkward between me and Broderick. The carefully balanced throuple might have worked with Abel and his two Brides, but Broderick loathes Monroe, and so my being attracted to her would further complicate an already complicated situation.
And that’s the best case scenario.
The worst case being Broderick gently, but firmly, sits me down and explains that while he cares about me, it’s only in a friendly kind of way, without a shred of the attraction that I feel for him. I’m beyond certain our friendship couldn’t survive that step, and I’ll do anything to preserve it.
Even deny myself the one man I want.
“Liar. You are the very definition of jealous.” She says it so casually, I can almost convince myself I misheard her. Monroe stalks toward me, all smooth, predatory movements. “Broderick might be as dense as the brick wall that surrounds the Paine compound, but I like to think I’m not a complete fool.”
Only someone with no sense of self-preservation would ever call Monroe a fool. As she approaches, it feels like the room gets smaller with each step. I hold my ground through sheer force of will. I’ve dealt with scarier people than this woman, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head, not with her so close.
She stops just short of us touching. It’s strange to notice that she’s several inches shorter than me. She feels larger than life, but she can’t be more than five-three. She reaches up with a perfectly manicured finger and winds it through a strand of my hair. “Shiloh.”
It’s everything I can do not to shiver at the dark promise in her voice. I clear my throat. “Is there something you need?”
“There are many things I need.” She tugs on my hair. This time, I lose my battle with the shiver. I have no business being attracted to this woman, but I might as well resent the sun for shining. It feels that inevitable when she’s like this. She might be the enemy, but in my heart of hearts, I can admit I want her. She leans forward a little and lowers her voice. “The first is for you to stop planting listening devices in my office.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m sure you don’t.” She gives my hair another tug, her expression contemplative. “We’ve been working hard. What do you say we go have some fun?”
I’m already shaking my head, which only makes her hold on my hair more apparent. “That’s not sanctioned.”
“Fuck sanctioned.” She releases my hair and stalks to her desk, sweeping up her blazer and heading for the door. “I need a drink. You need one, too.” I open my mouth to argue, but she never gives me the chance to interrupt. “Don’t bother to lie and say you don’t drink. I saw you and that fearsome brunette with beer the other night.”
I’d like to say Iris isn’t fearsome, but there’s a reason she’s one of Maddox and Cohen’s top picks when they put together small teams for dangerous tasks. I sigh and follow Monroe out of the office, waiting while she locks up behind her. I didn’t plant another listening device today. I don’t have the full details about Abel’s plans, but he was very clear on the schedule for hiding bugs in Monroe’s office. I suspect it’s so, eventually, she’ll become complacent and stop scanning the space.
I’m not sure Monroe and complacent have ever been used in the same sentence, but Abel seems to know what he’s doing. Especially since he’s got his two Brides in line and they’re all working together. It’s made a huge difference in our welcome in the Raider faction.
All good things.
None of it helps make Monroe easier to deal with.
She strides down the hallway, forcing me to rush to keep up with her. It doesn’t seem to matter that my legs are longer than hers. The woman is a menace.
We take the elevators down to the main floor and head out to the street. I keep waiting for it to be easier to move through the Amazon faction, but even though my childhood home was far from the city center, there’s something about the people here that are innately familiar. It doesn’t matter their gender, their race, their age; they all feel like Amazons to me. I hate that familiarity. I wish I could scrub it from my brain, could divorce myself from that identity with the same violence I divorced myself from this city the first time.