And not just that it’s too early, but pumpkins are a symbol of Halloween, a holiday I much enjoyed as an adult since I like passing out candy to kids, but, as it stands… I might not be around for it this year.
That’s because October’s new moon is in five weeks, and it’s when Kymaris’ ritual to bring down the veil is supposed to occur. At least according to Boral’s information that he got from his buddy, Kaesar, who is one of the original fallen Dark Fae that Kymaris will use in said ritual.
So yeah, I do not like the subtle pumpkin spice scent wafting from the unlit wick, but I do like Rainey’s idea to try to use my magic to light it.
Ever since Sarvel, my Custodia angel, told me she put light power into me at my birth, I have been trying to tap into it in some form or fashion. It’s worked on some occasions—like when I was able to break the incubus’s compulsion.
Or when I was able to project myself into Zora’s body in the Underworld.
The problem is that I have no clue how I accomplished those things, so it makes pulling on that power a mystery.
Sarvel told me now that I know I have the power within me, I need to believe and trust in it to call it forth.
She apparently handed me a crock of shit, but I’m still trying.
Tonight, Rainey’s suggestion is to go smaller with my attempts. So far, I’ve been trying to do things like pull books off shelves with my mind, or create a glowing ball of light with willpower. Once, I even tried to make a mustache grow on Myles’ face, but I didn’t tell him what I was doing.
But Rainey’s right. I need to start with something small and simple, and lighting a candle seems doable.
I stare at the wick a moment, but I can see Rainey and Myles sitting at the end of the table in my peripheral vision and it’s slightly distracting. They’re here for support and being incredibly quiet, but it’s giving me performance anxiety.
So, I close my eyes, merely imagining the candle in front of me. The way the label looks with a cute little pumpkin on it and the burnt end of the wick, as Rainey had used the candle already. I try to imagine what the wick would look like if it were to light itself spontaneously without any outside help, then I will myself to make it happen.
For a second, I feel something stir within me—low in my belly—and I think I might have accomplished it. My eyes snap open, but the candle remains cold and dead.
“Damn it,” I mutter, pushing back from the table, pissed I just mistook indigestion for brewing magic.
“Want to try a spellbook?” Rainey suggests. She’s found several in English, but they are mostly potions, and I’m not interested in those. I need something more theoretical that doesn’t require ingredients.
“No,” I mutter glumly as I cross my arms over my chest, slouching in the chair. I glance over at my friends. “What if this light inside of me doesn’t do much more than I can already do?”
Because I’ve gotten good with a bubble shield, which is sparked more out of fear than anything else. And my abilities to see fae, read vibes if I so choose, and hear them from great distances is sharper than ever. But surely, that can’t be the extent of the gift.
Rainey rises from her chair, leans over, and kisses Myles. She looks back at me. “I’m going to help Zaid finish dinner. I think we should just wrap it up for the evening.”
I give her a curt nod, my mind already racing on to other things. Rainey heads up the spiral staircase, and Myles fiddles with a book in front of him. We always have stacks of books to go through. Whenever one of us sees something of interest, we bring it back and throw it down. Everyone pitches in and reads when we can.
“Where’s Maddox?” Myles asks since Carrick’s brother hangs around more often than not these days.
“Off getting laid,” I reply distractedly. But then, I add, “At least that’s what he said when he left a few hours ago. Hey… off to get laid. See you later.”
Myles laughs at my mimicking of Maddox, which is quite good, but then sobers. “Shouldn’t he be sticking around to protect you or something? Or at least have Lucien here?”
I shrug. Truthfully, Maddox doesn’t think anything bad is going to happen to me in the condo. He’s relying on the wards he, Carrick, and Lucien put in place to keep Kymaris and her minions out. “I don’t think Maddox feels like I need constant babysitting the way Carrick does.”
“And Lucien?” Myles inquires.
Another shrug. “I haven’t seen him since our last trip to Faere when he brought Stan over to help me through the veil. He sort of does his own thing until he’s affirmatively needed.”