“Boral provided me with addresses for where some live, including Kaesar. I’m going to start with him. Before I kill him, I’m going to see if we can find out what happened to Boral.”
“Why bother?” Zaid mutters.
My heart aches a little for Zaid, but neither his expression nor tone give away what he’s feeling. Carrick doesn’t bother addressing his question because the answer is obvious. It would be helpful to know what else—besides us having the Blood Stone—Boral revealed.
“I can help,” Maddox declares to his brother. “After I get Rainey and Myles settled, I’ll meet you. The more we can take out, the harder it will be for Kymaris to do the ritual.”
“That was my plan,” Carrick mutters, casting a hard glance my way. “To have you help me with that, but if Finley insists on staying at Arwen’s instead of the castle, I’d rather you go there when you finish settling Rainey and Myles in.”
“I can do that,” Maddox says with a nod.
“But why bother taking out some of her original fallen?” I ask, wondering if this is time wasted and unnecessary danger. “She’ll bring more up from the Underworld.”
“True,” Carrick agrees. “But it will split her focus, which can only help us.”
“How many will you take out?” I ask him.
“I know the locations of three.”
I ponder this a moment. “Maybe you should take Maddox with you. I’m sure Zaid and I will be perfectly fine at Arwen’s. You can both join us there.”
Carrick’s expression doesn’t get any more transparent. He’s worried about me being in Faere without him. “You can either stay at the castle with Nimeyah, which is my preference, or you can have Maddox join you as soon as he gets Rainey and Myles taken care of. Those are your two choices.”
“I choose Maddox,” I mutter because I am not going to the castle. “What will we do when you come to Faere?”
“Maybe we’ll go to Nimeyah or maybe we’ll find a different realm,” he suggests, and I grimace. I might very well end up at the castle anyway, except it will be more bearable with Carrick there. “Maybe we’ll hop realms. We only have to keep it away from her until the new moon, which is twenty days away.”
Carrick has a good plan. I can tell by his demeanor that he’s confident it’s what’s best.
I trust him.
I really do.
But none of this is sitting right with me. Our regular plans have been completely derailed, and this new strategy takes us from the safety of a well-fortified place. On top of that, I don’t want Rainey and Myles to go somewhere else. While I trust Maddox to do right by them and put them someplace Kymaris won’t find them—and admit his idea of planting decoys is brilliant—it leaves them alone and unprotected.
Mostly, it puts Carrick out hunting for Dark Fae without me by his side. I’m not worried about our safety in Faere. We’ll be fine at Arwen’s. If trouble brewed, I could open the veil and go anywhere in the United States I could realistically envision.
My worry is not being with Carrick. Deep in my heart, I know it’s because I’m still rattled about Lucien. It’s been almost a week since he succumbed to the Crimson River, and he hasn’t returned. I’m starting to believe there is no coming back from that.
Which means… Carrick isn’t impervious to his life being permanently ended by some means other than Ascension.
I don’t want any of this.
I want to lock us away in safety to ride out the storm, and I want Carrick by my side.
“I think it’s a bad idea,” I finally say.
“Which part?” Carrick asks mildly.
“All of it. Having Rainey and Myles leave,” I offer.
“They’ll be safer away from all this,” Carrick replies firmly.
“Faere isn’t the best option for Zaid and me. We should figure someplace else—”
“It’s the safest, Finley,” Carrick says softly.
“And you.” I throw an accusing finger at him. “You’re going to go battle Dark Fae, and something bad could happen to you, which—”
“Nothing bad will happen,” he assures me, but I can tell by his tone he’s starting to get a little irritated with me.
I glance around. Rainey and Myles are watching me with curiosity, Zaid with sympathy, and Maddox with enjoyment.
Carrick, though, is dead serious.
“But,” I throw out desperately. “What about Rainey and Myles’ wedding? That’s going to be ruined.”
Bursting out of his seat, Carrick glares at me. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Finley. The wedding isn’t important. Keeping you alive and the Blood Stone from Kymaris is all that matters right now.”
I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face by the man I love. He’s never spoken to me like that. In all the days he has known me and had cause to be frustrated by me, he’s never lost patience with me. I had always considered him to be the rock in the storm, taking a lashing and able to remain strong and steady. To have him lose it, and on me of all people, is frankly… crushing.