“We will talk more this afternoon, when I return from the council meeting.” He wanted to reassure her, but things had been left incomplete with Chloris the night before and he needed to be sure she understood how much she meant to him before he went to the town.
* * *
Chloris watched him approach.
His tall figure moved through the trees easily, covering the ground between them. The day was already warm and the air hazy between the trees. Lennox seemed as one with this beautiful place, this hidden glen in the forest. It was how she’d always remember him, strolling through the trees as if he were king here. How was it that she had been allowed to love such a man, even for a short while? He was gifted and handsome, and younger than she. He was also wild and unpredictable.
When he closed on her, she smiled but she also put up her hand, indicating she wanted space between them while they spoke. She’d set her mind on how this would happen, and she meant to stick to it. But when she looked at him—adoring the very sight of him, intoxicated by it—she knew it would be hard. Nevertheless, it had to be done.
His smile faded somewhat when she raised her hand, but he halted in front of her and bowed his head. “How are you today?”
“I am well. But there are things we need to say and things I need to know.”
“Ask me anything.” The look in his eyes was brooding.
“There are things I’ve heard whispered, and I need to hear the truth about them from your lips.” She put her back to the tree, resting against it. “Tell me, how many women have you seduced?”
He looked uncomfortable.
That only confirmed her suspicions that Jean had been right. He was a libertine, bent on satisfying his need and ruining women’s reputations as he went. And she had fallen for his seductive ways. Even Jean had wanted to taste his magic, she was sure of it. The question had haunted her, and it was hard to state. She wanted to know his answer, though, and it pleased her somewhat that he did not shrug it off, that it mattered what she thought.
He opened his lips.
She reached over and pressed her finger to them, halting him. “Only the truth, I will respect you more for that.”
The truth was she needed to know this, to make her stronger. She had to deny this scheme to have her run to him.
He looked somewhat rueful. “I do not keep count, but there have been many. But...until you, they were at best a source, the vital life force that I could harvest for my magic. At worst they were nameless, faceless lovers, a momentary escape.”
Until me?
His eyes narrowed. He was silent a moment, as if he was gathering his thoughts. “Physical congress is the cornerstone of our beliefs. There is no greater power, and I am able to harvest it and use it to right wrongs, to heal and to influence. And yet, until you...I did not perceive the true value of what passes between a woman and a man, the simple act of sharing one another when there is deep affection as well as desire.”
Chloris inhaled. This man who had so much understanding of the possibilities between a man and a woman, more than any person she had ever known, and his confession about not understanding it was almost unthinkable.
“I love you, Chloris.” There was a look in his eyes that pleaded with her to understand. This was not easy for him. “You changed everything for me. I treasure our moments together. They bring me closer to the fundamental beliefs I subscribe to.”
This was not helping her to make distance between them. They could not be together, she recognized that.
“I promise you I will love you always.”
Chloris felt as if she would faint.
“Leave that other life behind you, be with me.” He reached for her hand and held it in his.
She squeezed her eyes tightly shut to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “I cannot, surely you know that Tamhas would despise me if I left my husband, and he would come after me to set me right.”
“Aye, I know that.” He squeezed her hand tighter still. “It has long been my plan to take my people north, where we will be more readily accepted.”
Startled, she stared at him in wonder. Her lips parted, but he continued to speak.
“But I also have to be honest with you about how things will be. Hard. Life in the Highlands is very different to what you have known here in the Lowlands. But I have kin there and we will be welcome. Those who believe in the laws of the natural world and draw on its vitality to heal and create magic are not hunted and persecuted in the Highlands. We will be safe there, but it will be a simple life that awaits us at the end.” His eyes flickered. “An honest life.”
An honest life. She knew he meant that to contradict the life she was living, where she pretended to be a happy wife when it was so very far from the truth.
“It will be a difficult journey, though, and danger comes in many guises. Once we leave Saint Andrews those who speak against us will see our departure as an admission of guilt. They will send out word and hunt us down to be brought to trial.”
“It is safer not to run,” she murmured, her belly turning at the thought of him being hunted down that way.