His tale had touched her heart, inevitably, and it was clear to her that he was wary of caring in a deeply emotional way, and why. The only person he had ever loved and been loved by in return had left him too soon. But what he didn’t realize was that he already cared for others at that level. She was sure his friendship with Jason was built on something deep, respect and affection. The loyalty between them and the way they took responsibility for each other showed her that, whether they knew it or not. Men! Girlfriends would be more open about that side of things. These two thought they were so radical with their open, alternative sexuality, but they still kept their feelings locked up like most men would. Stiff upper lip and all that. She couldn’t help smiling over it.
As she mulled it over, she wondered if it was Jason to whom Cal would always be most loyal. Was the strongest connection between them? Was she just entertainment? She’d come openly and willingly into the ménage, but through its very nature, did it exclude the space for her deeper feelings toward Cal?
When she reached the turn in the river, she called the dogs to heel to trace the route back again. By the time she got back to the house, she had decided to just have fun and enjoy the moment. Where it was all leading her, she didn’t know, but she wasn’t afraid. She wanted to go all the way, even if it did mean taking the ultimate risk of losing her heart.
* * * * *
Cal’s gaze roved over them restlessly. After the sumptuous meal that Felice had prepared that evening, they sat around the mahogany dinner table, sipping brandy and smoking the lilac-colored cigarettes that Felice had brought out from the cocktail cabinet. They were all a little drunk. Felice had asked Maddie to clear away the dishes and then dismissed her from the house for the night, smiling at her dinner guests as the girl pouted and stomped off, muttering to herself. She had been given some juicy bits of information about Georgie’s life in London throughout the course of serving the meal, and was clearly annoyed at being deprived of more gossip material. It amused Cal no end.
“You like my friends?” Georgie asked Felice, her hands moving to stroke the two men who sat either side of her. Cal’s fingers lifted from the surface of the table at her touch on his sleeve.
She was catlike once more. The sheath of layered black net she was wearing flattered her dark looks and voluptuous curves. It was one of her designs, and it couldn’t have fit her any better. The gauzy structure of the slashed net both hid and revealed her body. It was tight over her curves and ripped at the softest places: across her thigh, in her cleavage, and just beneath her breast. Her pert nipples pushed upwards through the restraining fabric, making their erect outlines visible. That and her tumbling black mane made him want to push his hands over the surface of her body and recreate it in statuesque black resin. He would call her “Black Venus,” and she would represent the darkest side of the love goddess.
He drew himself back from his deliberations and looked at Felice, curious to hear her response to the direct question. She sucked on her cigarette as she watched the three of them, her expression knowing.
“Oh, yes ... very handsome, desirable.” She tapped her cigarette against the ashtray in her hand, the glossy lacquered shell elegantly poised between her slim fingers as she held it aloft. She made even the most mundane activities seem special. “You are all three lovers ... of each other, are you not?” She looked up from the ashtray and turned to Cal, as if she was aware he was the pivotal member of the trio.
Cal reached for his brandy glass, smiling into it darkly. “Have you ever been in a ménage à trois, Felice?” He threw her question back at her in order to assess what was behind her curiosity.
“No. That’s why I’m curious.” She relaxed back into her chair, her expression inquisitive as she waited for answers.
“If you’re curious about it, you must be the type of woman that likes to explore her sexuality,” Jason observed.
She glanced at him.
“I mean ... to take two men as lovers demands a very special type of woman,” he added, and chuckled.
Felice assumed he was complimenting her, which was his intention. How devious he was, Cal thought, to compliment both the women present, in one comment. He glanced at Georgie, who rewarded him with a sexy smile and a wink.
“I’ve often wondered about it.” Felice gave Jason a frank stare. “As you say, it would take a special woman, and a special relationship between the three. But I like to explore my sexuality, yes.”
Cal could see that Jason would gladly explore her sexuality with her.
“Is one of you gay?”
“Oh, yes, we’re all very happy.” Georgie swigged more brandy, laughing.
“Why must people label things, I wonder,” Cal said, almost to himself. “I prefer to think of it as being someone that responds to pleasure. You know, responding to reciprocal desires and fulfilling them, whatever the context of the scenario or whoever the players in the scene. Does that make sense?”
“So ... if you feel attracted to a man, you can have sex with a man?” Felice was becoming more direct, challenging. The sexual intensity in the room had ratcheted up by several notches.
Jason leaned forward in his seat. He was quite obviously fascinated by the nature of the conversation. It was something they had discussed before, many times, but to see Felice’s reactions was intriguing.
“I suppose so, but it’s more that two people are attracted to each other, to the essential person. It’s a chemical thing, made up of a combination of their looks, character, and personality, not their gender.”
“I see ... so when you hear people say they will only sleep with their opposite gender, you believe they are simply excluding possibilities that could bring them a great deal of pleasure?”
“Precisely. There are many ways to experience pleasure. Some, for example, may involve you not even knowing the gender of the person who gives you pleasure. If you were blindfolded and someone went down on you and it was the best oral sex you had experienced, would it make any difference if it was man or woman?”
Felice was beginning to look very hot and aroused, if a little uneasy. “I can fantasize about being made love to by a stranger in such a way, but it’s outrageous to consider not knowing who the person was, or their gender.”
“But in theory, would it matter?” Cal forced her to consider the question. “Say, for the purposes of the debate, the four of us were in a room and we blindfolded you. Someone performed oral sex on you, touching only your pussy with their tongue and mouth, and you didn’t know which of the three of us it was.”
“No, I suppose in the fundamental sense, it wouldn’t matter,” she conceded.
He felt a pang of guilt. Her pupils were dilated, but she was clearly on rocky ground. He decided to redirect the conversation. “What is the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done? Sexually, I mean.”
Felice finally glanced away from his challenging stare, and her mouth curved. This question had clearly put her back on more level ground. She toyed with her brandy glass, then pushed her chair back and put her feet up on the table. Her legs gleamed in the candlelight, the sheer surface of her stockings bouncing the light back.