What I don’t expect is for him to kneel on the floor at my feet. To grab both of my hands and clasp them in his. To hold on so tightly his grip is almost bruising.
“No, Ems.” He shakes his head emphatically. “No. She didn’t get what she wanted. I fell for her bullshit, yes. I was an idiot and an asshole, and I fucked you over in ways I’ll never forgive myself for. But if she was hoping she’d get a chance with me by betraying you, she was wrong.”
His blue eyes glint like the sharpest steel as he rises up on his knees, bringing our faces even closer together.
“It’s always been you, Emma. Always. No one else. Even when I hated you, I couldn’t look away from you. I never stopped thinking of you. You consumed me. You still fucking do.”
My throat tightens, and I draw in a shuddery breath. I don’t even know how to process his words. He’s told me before that he’s sorry. That he wants to fix things. But this is different. The emotions infusing his words are powerful and raw—he’s laying his soul bare for me and both of his friends to see. He’s playing every card in his hand, showing me everything he’s been holding on to for the past several years.
And I have no idea what to do with it.
My heart is beating hard and fast in my chest, and unconsciously, my hands grip his back just as hard as he’s holding me.
Maybe he can see the mix of emotions on my face, the panic blended with hope, because Trent pulls me a little closer to him.
“I fucked up, Ems. I can never ask for your forgiveness for that, because I’ll never forgive myself. I ruined everything. I didn’t believe you when I should have, and I fucked everything up. But I want to fix it, and I promise you, I will never let anyone come between us again. I’ll be on your side, always.”
His vow strikes a chord in me, sending a ripple through my entire body. He’s the last of these three men to tell me he wants to fix things, and maybe it makes me foolish or insane, but I do believe him.
Not just because of his words, but because of the actions that came before them. He’s done everything he can to show me he’s different now. That things between us are different now.
Acutely aware of West and Reese watching the two of us, I nod once.
“I believe you, Trent. I do.” My gaze flits to Reese, finding a pair of intense green eyes watching me. “And I believe you.” I shift my gaze to West. He’s silent, watching me almost like a predator. “I believe you too. I know you all want to make up for what you did.”
My heart is still thrumming in my chest, and the next words sit on my tongue for a half-second before I gather the courage to speak them.
“But… it’s not enough.”
Trent closes his eyes, his shoulders slumping a little. West’s jaw clenches, and I see a pained expression pass over Reese’s face.
“What happened in high school did fuck everything up,” I go on, working hard to keep my voice steady. “But even if it hadn’t happened, we would’ve fallen apart at some point anyway. We could never go on forever the way things were.”
“Yes, we could’ve, Ems.” Reese turns on the couch to face me more fully. “We could have.”
“No.” I shake my head. “It wouldn’t have lasted. Things would’ve fallen apart eventually. Because I cared about you all. I wanted you. I still do. But I don’t know how to choose between you. And I refuse to destroy your friendship.”
5
Reese
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Okay, unless I’m totally fucking insane, Emma just admitted that she’s had feelings for us since high school. That she’s wanted us since then.
But that she doesn’t know how to choose which one of us she wants most.
I have no idea how to handle that. And judging by the looks on West and Trent’s faces, they don’t either. They both look torn between celebrating and fighting each other, and I admit I sort of feel the same way.
Fucking hell. I mean, it’s been amazing having Emma in the house with us all. It’s felt like the best times of high school again with the four of us all together.
But at the end of the day, I want her to be mine.
I want her to choose me.
I want to prove to her that I’ll take the best care of her.
Trent clenches his jaw, then releases Emma’s hands and stands, walking halfway across the room before turning back around. He’s got a look on his face that I recognize, and I know he’s holding his shit together by a thin thread.