There was something more. Something he wasn’t telling her, but she couldn’t be surprised by that. She wasn’t his girlfriend. She wasn’t even his friend.
So she took him to bed and tucked him in. The sex was slow and soft and perfect, and Olivia told herself that she was satisfied.
But the ache stayed lodged in her chest, and she didn’t sleep for a long time.
THE ROOM WAS DARK and Olivia was warm against him, but Jamie couldn’t find comfort. His mind kept turning. It was only 5:00 a.m., but he was wide awake and staring into the dark.
He tried to fall asleep for another thirty minutes, but his eyes kept opening, his pulse too fast to let him rest. In the end, he slipped from the warmth of Olivia’s arms and tugged on his shorts and T-shirt.
Feeling like an intruder, he wandered through Olivia’s apartment, too restless to settle in one place. When he idly opened her fridge, he saw a six-pack of Donovan Brothers Hefeweizen and managed
a smile. Had she bought that for him, or for herself?
Though he was tempted, he bypassed the beer and got a glass of water instead, then headed for Olivia’s office. Her computer still glowed with welcome, and when he nudged the mouse, her monitor blazed back to life.
Earlier, he’d been too tired to feel anything when she’d shown him the plans, but now his heart lurched at the sight of the picture. He clicked back through, noticing details he hadn’t seen the first time, and he felt…grief.
He wanted this. He still wanted it. But Eric would fight him. Jamie might be able to convince him—actually, he was certain he could. But every step of the implementation would be a test. Every misstep an opportunity for Eric to shake his head and look disgusted. Nothing would have really changed.
Jamie needed a clean start. Maybe he didn’t deserve it, but he needed it.
He opened the manila folder on the desk and looked over the numbers Olivia had assembled in a remarkably short amount of time. Pages of numbers that meant something different now. If he were really going to branch out on his own, it would be a very expensive endeavor. He wasn’t sure he had the skills to pull it off.
He dropped his head to his hands and closed his eyes.
“You really don’t like it, do you?”
His shoulders stiffened at the sound of Olivia’s voice. He shook his head.
“I don’t know what I did wrong. I thought it was what you wanted.”
“It’s not that,” he whispered.
“Well, what could it be? You look like…like I’ve crushed all your dreams or kicked your puppy or…”
“I’m not going to be doing the expansion,” he said, pushing his fingers against his skull.
“What?” she breathed. “Why?”
“I told my brother about my idea. He laughed it off. Told me I was ridiculous.”
“Jamie…” She came closer, her footsteps whispering over the carpet. “I thought you were going to wait. Present it to him with the portfolio. I—”
“It wouldn’t have mattered.”
“You don’t know that!” Her hand spread over his back as she knelt beside him. “You have to try again.”
“It’s too late for that, Olivia. It was already too late, and I didn’t realize it. My brother doesn’t trust me.”
“Why?” she cried, her fingers digging into his back.
Jamie sighed and lifted his head. “Because I’ve never done anything to earn his trust. My misspent youth lasted a little too long.”
“Doing what?”
He shook his head. He couldn’t explain it. There were so many little things. Classes skipped. Curfews broken. Tickets for underage drinking. And once he’d taken his place at the brewery, he hadn’t cared about a damn thing except having fun. Oh, he’d done his job, but no more. Those first few years, Eric had tried to teach him things, tried to turn over some responsibilities. Jamie had refused them.
“Things add up,” he said, hoping it would make sense to her. “You said you don’t get along with your mother.”