Like I’m so happy that she’s here? Kill me. “It was a mistake. We’re being big kids and taking care of it. With lawyers, of course.”
“Uh huh.” Caroline pulls out a lacy handkerchief and dabs her nose. “Look, Kathryn, I couldn’t talk any sense into my son, but maybe we can...” she glances at Clarence, who has emerged from the bathroom. “We can have a little girl talk. Come on. Over here.”
Oh, fuck.
She sits me down before plopping next to me, our backs to Clarence, who is pretending to be wholly disinterested in family matters. He knows how Caroline functions. His wife and her play bridge, or something. Besides, Clarence is not being paid to eavesdrop. Not this time, anyway.
“Kathryn, honey...” Caroline touches my cheek. Cold fingers. Sharp nails. I’m gonna die before lunch. “Don’t see this as a mistake. See it as a sign! You and Ian are so good together! I couldn’t ask for a better woman to marry my son.”
“Thanks, Caroline.” I’m too tired for this. It’s too early for this.
“I’m serious. Before I knew you thought this was a mistake... well, I was the happiest woman in the world for the few hours it took to get here. Happy and pissed because I wasn’t there for it, but I told Ian we could have a proper wedding back home. Don’t you want to be his wife?”
Where the hell did that come from? I look at her with wide eyes, my face paling beneath her heavy touch. “What do you mean by that?”
“Take away all the legal mumbo-jumbo. Your lawyers can deal with your assets and how that works out between you two. Don’t you feel that it’s right in your heart? Don’t you look at my son and see the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
I cock my head to the side. This woman is nuts. Nuts and obsessed with her son’s love life.
“I know he feels that way about you. He told me himself.”
Okay, now she’s full of shit.
“I’m serious! Maybe not this morning... but a few weeks ago, he came by my place for dinner and we had a sensitive discussion about you two. I wasn’t going to mention it because it was a conversation between mother and son, that’s all. Maybe you’ll understand one day.”
Ah, here we go. Me and babies.
“He said that he loved you more than he could love any woman in this world. He said that if he could marry anyone, it would be you. Come on, Kathryn! Don’t tell me you don’t feel the same way about him.”
Sighing, I sit back from her and hope she doesn’t come at me with those nails. “That’s neither here nor there,” I say. “Of course I love Ian, but we’re not getting married. Not now, not anytime soon. This whole charade has to go away. Now.”
“But...”
“Even if I woke up and decided I wanted to get married, it wouldn’t be like this. Your son and I, for all our faults and intentions for one another, need legal protection if we’re going to get married. Not to mention... drunken night in Vegas isn’t exactly what I want in my photo album. I’d rather make a decent go of it.” I don’t tell her that means the justice of the peace followed by a party at the Mathers estate. With maybe a couple dozen people at most in attendance. I don’t do big bashes in my honor. Too awkward.
“But...”
“Think of the children, Caroline.” I am treading such dangerous water that it’s likely I’ll drown. Yet this is the only thing I have going for me right now. “Those grandbabies you want so badly? What would happen if Ian and I didn’t put our ducks in a row first? Even if I was pregnant—which I’m not, by the way, so don’t get your hopes up—we would still take special legal care before getting married. That’s what I would want for my children. What about you?”
Right in the gut! Now I need to twist the knife and... ah, fuck, she’s crying.
“I know this isn’t the right way to do things, but...” Caroline dabs more, wiping away her tears and the snot threatening to burst from her nostrils. I’d feel bad for her if I didn’t feel worse for myself. “It’s so terribly romantic! So like you two! At first I was mad at the thought of you two getting hitched without your family around... and now I realize it’s the only way!”
What in the fucking fuck? I can’t deal with this woman. She loves my face off my head, and yet I can’t imagine having her for a mother-in-law. She would be so damned crazy and up my ass about my uterus that I would go certifiably insane and turn into my own mother. I don’t trust Caroline to not find a way to rip the IUD from my body.