“No!” It was evil what Gales had done. “I can’t! What if I got pregnant?” I hit Van with the pillow.
He grabbed it from me. “If we do this right, you might only have to bed him a couple of times. Use protection and—”
I wasn’t sure what look was on my face, but I felt appalled at the garbage that Van was spewing. Use protection? Use protection? There was no protection from what they were.
Van shook his head and handed me back my pillow. “You’re right. We’ll avoid Gales.” He flipped a few more pages. “Although they could provide a unique advantage.”
Oh, come on. He couldn’t really be serious.
I stood, no longer able to sit still, and threw the pillow on the couch. “They eat rotted flesh—sometimes rotted human flesh—to gain their powers! It’s evil, Van. Evil.”
He just looked up at me, waiting for me to calm down enough to state his case. I’d seen the look so many times over the years, but I really, really didn’t want to hear it this time.
And that was me being a child. I was old. I couldn’t afford to be childish about anything.
I paced to the wall to give myself time to calm down. I needed to think strategically, and to do that, I needed to let go of my own feelings about the Court of Gales. Van wouldn’t have brought it up if it didn’t make some sort of sense.
By the time I was in front of the couch again, I’d convinced myself to at least hear him out. “All right. What kind of advantage?”
“They’re powerful. They have the ability to foresee things—”
I snorted. “Turning into smoke to eavesdrop in Heaven and Hell. Not from their own abilities.” I crossed my arms and waited for him to give me something better than that.
“Cosette. Listen to me on this. You can’t discount their knowledge, and because of their influences, they have bargains and chits with all kinds of fey and demons and angels and supernaturals, high and low. So many people go to them for their advice. They’re the only ones that can tell the future so accurately. Your mother might like to discount them and call them flighty since they literally turn to smoke and disappear, but don’t be so discriminating. Having a match in the Court of Gales could make a lot of sense.”
My instinct was to say no, but that was going to be the same with everyone else. The court didn’t really matter. He had a point, as much as I hated it. “But Gales skirts the lines of good.”
Van put the binder on the table and stood in front of me. “Don’t we all from time to time?”
“I don’t know if I could live with myself if I had to bed a demon’s cousin, let alone marry one.” I pressed my hands against my eyes, as if I could unsee—unthink—all of this. “Oh, God! I can almost hear what you’re thinking now. We’re going to get into a moral debate over this, aren’t we?”
“No, Cosette.”
Van laughed and I dropped my hands so that I could see his face.
He pulled me in for a hug. “I wouldn’t do that to you, but the more I think of it, the more I think Gales is where you should go. For the lying alone. That could come in handy while we solidify your power. They can do what we wouldn’t be able to.”
Damn it all. Van had a point.
“Put aside the morality for a moment. If matched with the right person in Gales, you could have access to any number of bargains. Think about how you could use their assets to your advantage. You could change the way of the fey just as you’ve always wanted.”
I rested my forehead against his shoulder. “I want things to change, you know I do, but that feels dirty. I don’t know that I’d be able to live with myself if we did it this way. Not after all the fighting and sacrificing we’ve done to keep the mortal realm safe.”
“I know, but everything in this world comes with a price.”
But was it one I wanted to pay?
Van pulled away from me, keeping a light grip on my shoulders until I looked up at him. His blue eyes were the kind of bright that only happened when he really believed he was fighting for the right thing.
“You don’t have to marry one of them, but I suggest at least meeting the someone from Gales first. Their power might be dismissed by the rest of the fey, but it shouldn’t be. Go in with an open mind, and let’s see.”
This sounded so hopeless. I wasn’t sure I was going to like anyone at Gales. “And if I can’t stomach marrying any of them?”
“Then don’t!” He gave my shoulders a little shake. “We’ll go to one of the other courts and find one you can stomach until it gets quieter here. And when that happens, I’ll kill him for you.”
I almost laughed, but the laughter died a quick death, even before the breath could begin to leave my body. I stepped away from him. “That’s insane. You can’t kill my future husband for me.”
“If I’m remembering correctly, I killed for you not two hours ago in this very room, just as I have done many, many times before, and I’ve no regrets about it. I don’t see how this would be any different.” There was ice in his voice, the kind that used to scare me as a child, but now it made me thankful. Thankful that he cared so much for me. Thankful that even if I didn’t have a father, I had him. But mostly, I was thankful that if I was forced to marry someone, I wouldn’t have to kill him myself.