And going.
And going.
And then, suddenly, for the first time that I could remember, I was full.
I was actually full.
I put down my fork. The constant gnawing feeling in my stomach was just gone. Totally gone. And I didn’t feel so weak.
I didn’t feel weak at all. I felt strong.
“Are you okay?” Dastien asked.
“I’m actually great.”
“You are?”
“Yeah.” I looked around the table, and for a second, I thought I should keep my mouth shut. And then I realized that was no way to live. Second-guessing my words wasn’t getting me anywhere. I should just talk. “It’s been really weird for me for a long time. I haven’t felt right since my accident. But tonight, I feel okay. I might even feel good, and it makes me think that everything might be okay.” I laughed to cover my embarrassment. “Which is stupid because I don’t know you and—”
“It’s not stupid.” Cosette reached her hand to me again, and I took it.
The warmth in her hand felt like magic that fueled me with a bit of her strength.
She smiled at me. “It’s not stupid at all.”
Chris looked at Cosette for a second and then turned to me. “We were going to hate-watch some B-movies. Want to hang?”
“Yes, please stay,” Cosette said, and then she squeezed my hand. “Stay with us.”
I felt myself say yes before I could think about it.
“Good.” Cosette let go of my hand and leaned into Chris’s side. “There will be popcorn. Plus, there’s dessert. We haven’t even touched the coconut chocolate chip ice cream yet. I’ve never had any, but a very good friend of mine told me it was the best. She’s got excellent taste.”
“I’ve never had it
before, either. It sounds amazing. But…” I glanced at Dastien. I’d been avoiding his gaze while I was eating because I just didn’t understand why someone like him would be interested in me. I didn’t have a lot to offer. There was just so much I didn’t understand about myself, and getting involved with someone before I figured everything out seemed pointless.
But I felt stuck and bored with my life right now. So much of it just didn’t seem to feel right, and something about being around them—these three friends who clearly knew each other really well—made me feel that a little more intensely.
I wanted what they had. I wanted the comfort that they had around each other, and how thoughtfully they treated each other, the way they joked and teased. It was all…so great.
Plus, coconut chocolate chip ice cream? I’d never heard of such a thing, but it sounded amazing and right up my alley. “How could I turn down ice cream? But I’m only staying if I can help with the dishes.”
“I’ll take the help,” Dastien said a little too quickly.
He started gathering up the dishes, but his gaze kept darting to me. He had a small, tentative smile on his face, one that made his dimples show just a little bit. The guy should’ve seemed nothing short of confident, but something about him seemed a little broken. It was both endearing and sad.
I wasn’t sure why I thought that. Maybe it was the way that Chris and Cosette seemed to always try to encourage him. Or maybe it was the way that they kept staring at him—watching him—as if they were expecting something from him. I wasn’t sure what they were worried about, but I was convinced that they were protecting him. Something or someone had hurt him.
When he came back for another round of plates, I stood up. “Okay.” I walked into the kitchen and turned on the faucet. “Let’s do this.”
Chris and Cosette carried dishes into the kitchen until the counters were full, before moving into the living room. They immediately started arguing over what movie to watch. It was nice hearing the total nonfight. Even when they were clearly at odds over what to pick, they teased each other and laughed, and it felt like they were pretending to fight more than actually arguing.
Dastien handed me the first plate to rinse. “So, what are you studying?”
With the dishes between us, it seemed easier to talk to him. “Psychology.”
He took the plate from me and gave me another. “Why?” He asked as he put the dish in the dishwasher.