“I told you why! I know what you want—what you need. We’re at war and you have an heir who can’t shift. Or . . . who can’t do it well.”
“I’d say you did it pretty well.”
“But it’s not just about shifting! Or using the power. It’s about using it well, doing the right thing, making the tough calls—” She bit her lip. “You were right. I am scared. I’m terrified that I’ll fail you, that I’ll fail everybody.”
“Yeah. Been there.”
She looked surprised.
I managed not to roll my eyes.
“I’ve been selfish,” I told her, after a moment. “When I took this job, it was so overwhelming that I didn’t even know where to start. But then you came along, the perfect heir, and it just seemed like finally. Something went right. Something was easy.
“But I didn’t stop to think about what you wanted. And I’m sorry for that.”
Rhea’s hands covered mine. “Lady—”
“But I get it now. People keep telling me how to live my life; how to be and who to love. I’m not going to do the same thing to you. And it wouldn’t work, even if I did. You can’t do a job like this long term unless it’s what you want, not what somebody else wants for you. It’s a terrible job sometimes, the worst in the world. And at others, it’s . . . a revelation. Like nothing else has ever been or ever could be. But it’s extremes that not everyone can live with. You have the ability, Rhea; the question is, do you have the desire to do this?
“I want you to know that I’ll support you, whichever way you decide.”
“Thank you, Lady,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome. Now, get some sleep. We have a job to do in the morning.”
Chapter Thirty
“It’s—it’s not that I don’t think this is a good idea,” Rhea said the next morning, holding a lantern as we descended the basement steps once more.
“Good to know.”
“—but under the circumstances, I mean, well, after the last time—”
“Uh huh?”
“—don’t you think it would be better if, perhaps, I went and retrieved the information you need for you?”
“No.”
“I don’t mind at all, and I’m fairly familiar with—oh,” she said, and stopped on a stair, biting her lip.
“I’m Pythia,” I reminded her. “This is my library. And it is going to give me what I want.”
Gertie had said that I needed to learn to control my power, and this was certainly the place to start. But I needed something else, too, and I didn’t want anyone seeing that information. Not even Rhea.
Something had been bugging me, more and more, every time I thought about it. Especially now that Gertie had cleared away some underbrush. Because I thought she was right about the first and the third attacks, which could be blamed on the Pythian power playing with my shiny new vamp abilities.
But not the second.
No, the second was something else altogether.
I wasn’t the best researcher in the world, but I was going to figure out what had happened in that bath, and this place was going to help me!
“Well, yes, of course,” Rhea said diplomatically. “But it could give it to you through me, you see?”
I crossed my arms and looked at her.
“You don’t see.” Her shoulders slumped slightly, sending the lantern’s light splashing the ancient stones.