I didn’t like the idea of that, but I also thought things would work out the way they were supposed to. I had to believe that. “Maybe you meet them a different way. If it’s meant to be, then it will still be.”
A chuckle came from him. “The fact that you can’t see the irony of that statement lets me know you’re still Z. It won’t work, you know. It can’t.”
“But you’ll help me, won’t you?” I asked.
“Of course. I’m your best friend. But I’m helping you because I know it won’t work,” Neil said.
It had to work. I had to get back to my real life. I didn’t understand this world I found myself in, and I couldn’t find a place in it. My children didn’t need me anymore. Not really. Sarah was gone. There was no guarantee we could win this war. The world had changed and I’d been left behind.
“I’ll be here when you finally break, Z. I’ll be here and we’ll rebuild. That’s what we do.” Neil’s head rested against mine, and we sat that way for the longest time.
* * * *
It was late into the night when I found myself sitting around the big bonfire. Most of the occupants of Frelsi had taken to their beds. Neil and I had talked to Danny and told him our revelations about Gladys. He’d gone straight back into the conference room to talk to the academics, though I’d noticed he hadn’t invited Alexander to this meeting.
At least he was practical about the Victorian vampire. The serial killer vampire.
Neil and I had made the rounds, playing the queen and her favorite courtier. I’d plastered a smile on my face and even managed to dance with both of my sons. Rhys had been stilted and proper, and Lee had swung me around like he hadn’t a care in the world.
I worried for both of them.
But for now I sat and contemplated the world I found myself in and how I was going to get out.
“Your Highness?”
I glanced to my left, expecting to see one of the brownies or the trolls who had made the effort to ensure I had anything I could need. Instead it was Lily Tucker. She wore a flowing skirt and a heavy cable-knit sweater, her salt and pepper hair flowing down her back. “Please. It’s Zoey.”
A ghost of a smile hit her face. “Maybe it was once. I remember when you were nothing more than my younger sister’s odd friend. How far you’ve come.”
“I don’t know. Right now I feel like I’m back where I started.” Maybe not exactly where I started, but pretty close. It hadn’t been long after I figured out how powerful Danny really was that we’d started our play to put him on the throne and free the supernatural world from the tyranny of the old Council. We’d been hunted back then, too. The only difference was now our children were on the run with us.
They had been on the run without us for over a decade.
Lily settled herself on the bench next to mine. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I remember the first time around. Most of it. I drank a lot back then. No matter how many times Felix tried to wipe away the memory of that stint in Hell, it lingered. It still does, though I can handle it better now.”
Lily had been taken to Hell on her twenty-fifth birthday, payment for her mother’s power. “I know it bothered Sarah.”
Lily chuckled. “Sarah had Felix. I swear there must have been something in his dick because she moved right on. I’m sorry. I know that’s not fair. She handled it better than I did. I think in a weird way she almost viewed that time as penance for what she did to you.”
That felt like three lifetimes ago. Sarah had put me in a bad position years and years before. I’d forgiven Sarah’s betrayal almost as soon as she’d committed it. She’d done it for Lily. “She did it to save you.”
“She failed and then you saved us all.” Lily sat back. “I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for that. I’m afraid I was a bit lost then. And after I got my act together, you were the queen and it felt weird to talk to you. I’m sorry for that, too. It shouldn’t have been. That was my problem, not yours.”
“I didn’t need thanks,” I replied. “If Sarah had told me what was happening, I would have helped you.”
“And that is why you’re the queen,” Lily pronounced somberly.
I had to laugh at the thought. “I’m queen because I’m married to Daniel. I don’t know that I’m queen at all anymore.”
“Oh, you’re the queen. Myrddin is the pretender. Never doubt that,” Lily said with a sigh. “I lost most of my coven to that asshole. Only three of us made it out. The rest…well, they drank that Kool-Aid right down.”