“Sometimes there was a trigger.”

Alexander shrugged off my assertion. “And sometimes an apex predator is required by nature to thin the herd, so to speak. There was no one event that set me off. I had a perfectly lovely childhood. I had a mother and father who cared about me, a sibling who was kind. My father was what you would call a doctor, and we had a comfortable existence.”

“So how did you end up killing prostitutes and terrorizing London?” I knew I shouldn’t encourage him, but I wanted to know the answer.

His lips curved up in a smile that held no humor. I swear in the light from the fire, I could see a hint of fangs, and his smile looked too large, like his mouth could open far more than it should. Like he could swallow the world if he wanted. “Because I was born to. Because despite my ideal circumstances, I needed more than warm food and Mummy’s love. I was only six when something deep inside me led me to slice open the local vermin to see what was underneath their skin. I looked normal from the outside. I married, you know.”

Despite the fact that I knew I should follow my first instincts and walk away, I found myself sitting again. “No. I didn’t know that.”

He nodded, his left hand playing with the ring he wore on his right ring finger. “Yes, I was. At the ripe old age of seventeen. She was a slip of a girl. Good family, of course.”

Not a smart family. They’d married their daughter to a monster. “Did you kill her?”

“Heavens, no. Why would I ever fuck where I ate? I think she had her suspicions, but she was a devout girl. She’d been taught the highest religion of our class—to look the other way as long as it didn’t affect us,” he said with a chuckle. “Some things never change, do they? It’s why I find you fascinating. You could have had quite a good life. The Council would have offered you and Daniel anything you liked so long as you didn’t cause trouble. I’ve thought a lot about it. You didn’t do it because you thirsted for the crown.”

“I did it because the old Council was threatening the world.”

“Not your world. At least not as long as you stayed in line,” Alexander pointed out.

“It’s all my world. That’s the thing, isn’t it? Louis was going to subjugate the wolves.” That time seemed so long ago and yet it had only been a little past a decade for me. “I’m not a wolf, but I knew what it meant to be under Louis’s thumb. I could have stayed silent and it might have bought us time, but he would always have come for us. They always come for you in the end, no matter how compliant you are. A tyrant needs someone to crush. When he’s crushed everyone else, it’s your turn. So instead of waiting, it’s better to stand and fight with those first targets. It’s better to go down fighting with them than to wait your turn.”

“Ah, but many of them didn’t fight with you in the first place. You fought for them. Even when they didn’t appreciate you.”

“I’m not some saint.”

“Of course not, but you are different. Which is why I’m surprised you’re wilting in the face of this challenge, my queen. I’ll be honest. I expected you to be all…peppy about it.”

Not even the serial killer understood my plight. “I’m sorry I can’t be happy I lost twelve years with my children. I can’t be happy my friends are dead.”

“There are always losses in war.” Alexander stood again. “Well, I wish you luck finding your way back to the time when you didn’t have to fight at all.”

I didn’t like the idea that I was trying to get out of a fight, but I deserved some peace. “I just wanted to raise my kids.”

“Then you should have stayed silent. Then you never should have put on that crown. You should have refused Daniel, who was always going to be here, and run with your lover to the safety of a sithein.”

They weren’t as safe as people made them out to be. But he was right about one thing. Being the queen didn’t mean safety. It meant sacrifice, and in that moment I resented the hell out of it. The truth of the matter was I hadn’t been given a choice. If I loved Daniel and stood by him, I had to become the queen. In the years since, I’d been more than happy to let him and Dev run the supernatural world while I focused on being a wife and a mom and a friend. Every now and then I hosted a state dinner or smiled and waved.

Tags: Lexi Blake Outlaw Paranormal
Source: readsnovelonline.net