His expression softened as he settled back down. “I know. I liked the notes. I liked that those notes were for me and not Lee. I know that sounds shitty, but I liked that you did something for me you didn’t do for him.”
“He wouldn’t have read them.” Lee would have rolled his eyes and gagged. I knew my boys. “He had different struggles, but yours were every bit as difficult.”
“It wasn’t easy being the only fertility god at school. I know Lee was the only human, and some of the kids gave him hell about it, but you try being the kid in school who can pump up your chances to get pregnant. I never sat at the front of the class. Ever. They put me back as far as they could. I had not one teacher offer to hold my hand as we walked down the hall. They always held Lee’s hand when we were young.”
Once Rhys’s powers had grown, it had been hard keeping him in school at all. Danny, Dev, and I had many a parent-teacher meeting where we had to advocate for our son. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s hard to be the only one.”
He shrugged and pulled his gloves off. We wouldn’t need them now that the eternal flame was doing its job. “Papa was there, but he was in control and I wasn’t. And I know other people have it hard. Being alive is hard. Everyone has their struggles, but my particular issue actively created more people. In some ways it was a relief to go on the run, to not have to worry about fitting in with a bunch of teens who wanted to be able to have sex with no consequences. The teen wolves hated me. I wasn’t allowed anywhere near them.”
My heart ached for him. “You never told me that.”
“Well, it’s also hard when your mom is the queen and anything she does can cause problems for the king,” he said softly.
“We tried to keep you out of that. I know it’s hard to believe, but your fathers and I tried to give you as normal a childhood as possible.”
He chuckled at the thought. “As you have said on many an occasion, there is no such thing as normal. There is only what we know and what we are afraid of.”
I had to blink back tears. “I didn’t say that last part.”
“No, but it’s what I’ve learned over the last few years. Normal is a throwaway word, and yet it’s something we cling to and use to force others to do our bidding. It’s normal for the Fae to want fertility, so I should do my job whether I wish it or not. I should conform to their normal. It is normal to be immortal, so Lee was not welcome and we should conform to their normal. Well, we found our own, and damn the Fae.”
“Not all of them,” I pointed out. “You seem very popular in Frelsi.”
A warm smile came over his face. “I’ve found earthbound Fae have a completely different view of normal. They must fit in on a plane where they’re overwhelmed by humans, and therefore they’re tolerant of all. I’m never going to be Papa. I’m never going to fit in with my pure relatives. I even hate that word. Pure. What is it supposed to mean?”
“I think it’s another one of those words meant to separate us,” I replied. Finally we were talking, and all it had taken was my nosiness and utter disregard for his privacy. “You must be careful with the Seelie. The Unseelie as well. You have your father’s talents, but even he was only considered a proper Green Man when he ascended.”
He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know that I want to ascend.”
Had he even been thinking about it? There was no need for him to. Dev had done it to stabilize our alliance with the Fae. And to prove a point Rhys didn’t need to prove. “Oh, baby, you don’t have to. You never have to. That’s up to you and you alone. I know it feels like you have this grand destiny, but you’re in control.”
He huffed. “It didn’t feel that way when they attempted to kidnap me.”
“Well, that was assault and nothing you could control, but in this, you can. You will learn how to control your powers, and you can give or withhold them, and you should understand that even if they succeeded, your family would come for you.” I had no doubt even had we never gotten home that Rhys would not have been left alone.
“Yes. Lee would have led a charge into the Unseelie and gotten himself killed. It was what I worried about at the time,” Rhys replied. “Of course, I would have felt better had I known he would rise again. You know, now that I think about it, I should have known none of us could ever escape the chaos Lee can bring. Not even death can stop him.”