“At that moment I lost sense of time,” he continued solemnly. “Of reality, of self. I only became aware of the horrors that happened when the shakes stopped and I found Doe Eyes staring down at me. There was a look of total disgust, of loathing on her face. She was gagging, as though she might throw up. And I knew that I was the cause of her reaction.”
He took her hands in his and held them to his chest. “Hannah, when I moved to my feet and tried to reach out for her, she recoiled.” he said bitterly. “She told me that I disgusted her. And then she ran away. Since that day, she has not said one word to me until she came and spoke in behalf of Hawk. I had to live with knowing that my body could betray me at any time, that I could be the target of people’s loathsome stares. It has been a life of torture. Hannah, to think that I might have to relive those moments again.”
Hannah stared at him for a moment, stunned by the truth. Then she felt something more. It wasn’t pity. It was an intense caring, an intense wish to make things right for this man she would die for!
“Oh, my darling,” she cried, flinging herself into his arms. She pressed her body against his, loving the feel of it, and hardly believing that anything as beautiful could ever be ugly. “I love you still! I understand how you must feel! Please let me help you forget! Please know that I love you no less now than before you told me. Doe Eyes was a coldhearted fool! How could she do that to you? She betrayed you, Strong Wolf! She betrayed you!”
“Her betrayal was complete when she jerked off a necklace that had been worn as true proof of our devotion to one another,” he said somberly. “When we were born, we were both given the same identical necklace to wear. She stood in her disgust of me and tore her necklace away and stamped on it!”
“How horrible,” Hannah gasped. “I can see how that day affected you so terribly. But this is now. Please forget what happened in the past.”
“What brought it back so strongly tonight was your saying that you want to have my child,” he said. “I began to think about us, about possibly having children, and fear filled me like bolts of lightning that our child might inherit the traits of my mother’s family, as I inherited them.”
“And that is something we shall concern ourselves with if it happens,” Hannah said, brushing his brow with a kiss. “As for now, let us be happy with what we have. Our love. It is so special. It is so deep.”
Strong Wolf was relieved over her reaction, yet he had to know just one more thing.
It was easy to say to him that she understood.
But what if . . . ?
“What if you should witness one of my seizures?” he uttered. “Can you honestly say that you would not be repelled and look away in disgust?”
Hannah took a deep breath. “Darling, I could never do that,” she murmured. “I would be there for you. I would hold you in my arms to comfort you until the seizure is passed. I would make you see just how deep my love goes for you.”
“How can you be so sure?” he asked, his eyes imploring her.
“When I was a little girl, I would say about twelve years of age, I was downtown with my father, when suddenly a woman fell down in the middle of the street and began having seizures,” Hannah said softly. “My father ran to her and held her until the seizures were passed. I sat down beside her and held her hand. I felt so badly for the woman, I wanted to cry. But when she awakened and discovered what had happened, the courage she showed made me know that no pity was needed. She thanked my father for helping her, she gave me a quiet, sweet smile, then rose from the street and went on her way as though nothing had happened. Her courage, and her showing no shame made me admire her so much. As you can see, as a child I did not turn away in disgust. As an adult, I shall be even more loving and comforting.”
Strong Wolf seized her into his arms. “My woman,” he whispered, slowly caressing her back. “You are filled with such heart, with such caring. I will not fear any longer that which has plagued me since I was a child. You have helped me place it behind me. Thank you, Hannah. Thank you for being you.”
“Shall we try once more tonight to make a baby?” she asked, snuggling against his broad, hard chest. She felt that was true proof to him that she had been sincere in what she had said to him. To have a child. Theirs.
He gave her a lingering, warm look, touched by her sweetness, then grabbed her up into his arms and carried her to the blankets.
When he lay over her, their bodies touching, their hands exploring, he gave her a heated kiss, one that made her head reel with the passion.
They made love with more feelings, with abandon, their hearts thudding within their chests!
Strong Wolf felt as though his demons had been finally released from inside him.
He was now free to truly live . . . and love . . . !
Chapter 36
Nothing could make the river be
So crystal pure but she.
—ANDREW MARVELL
The Chippewa village sat on a hill overlooking a dense forest close by. A river snaked through the forest.
Hannah had entered the village proudly at Strong Wolf’s side, her pinto keeping stride with his magnificent steed. She had taken in everything—the wigwams made of poles that were bent and covered with the bark of trees and cattail mats, the women working industriously about their homes, the children running and playing.
Enjoying the merriment and celebration, Hannah now sat in the council house, a large one-roorn building made of logs with a roof of wooden shingles.
There was one door that opened into the interior.