"Is this the right way?" I asked.
"Yes. Trust me."
We began to descend through the hole at the side of the falls. Although we were in complete darkness, we knew where we were going--and he asked me again to trust him.
Thank you, Lord, I was thinking, as we went deeper and deeper into the earth, because I was a lost sheep, and you brought me back. Because my l
ife was dead, and you revived it. Because love wasn't alive in my heart, and you gave me back that gift.
I held on to his shoulder. My loved one guided my steps through the darkness, knowing that we would see the light again and that it would bring us joy. Perhaps in our future there would be moments when the situation was reversed--when I would guide him with the same love and certainty until we reached a safe place and could rest together.
We walked slowly, and it seemed as if we would never stop descending. Maybe this was another rite of passage, marking the end of an era in which there had been no light in my life. As I walked through the tunnel, I was remembering how much time I had wasted in one place, trying to put down roots in soil where nothing could grow any longer.
But God was good and had given me back my lost enthusiasm, directing me toward the adventures I had always dreamed about. And toward the man who--without my knowing it--had waited for me all my life. I felt no remorse over the fact that he was leaving the seminary--there were many ways to serve God, as the padre had said, and our love only multiplied the number of them. Starting now, I would also have the chance to serve and help--all because of him.
We would go out into the world, bringing comfort to others and to each other.
Thank you, Lord, for helping me to serve. Teach me to be worthy of that. Give me the strength to be a part of his mission, to walk with him on this earth, and to develop my spiritual life anew. May all our days be as these have been--going from place to place, curing the sick, comforting those in sorrow, speaking of the Great Mother's love for all of us.
SUDDENLY, THE SOUND of water could be heard again and light flooded our path. The dark tunnel was transformed into one of the most beautiful spectacles on earth. We were in an immense cavern, the size of a cathedral. Three of its walls were of stone, and the fourth was the Horse's Tail, with its water falling into the emerald-green lake at our feet.
The rays of the setting sun passed through the waterfall, and the moist walls glittered.
We leaned back against the stone wall, saying nothing.
When we were children, this place was a pirates' hideout, where the treasures of our childhood imagination were kept. Now, it was the miracle of Mother Earth; I knew she was there and felt myself to be in her womb. She was protecting us with her walls of stone and washing away our sins with her purifying water.
"Thank you," I said in a loud voice.
"Whom are you thanking?"
"Her. And you, because you were an instrument in restoring my faith."
He walked to the edge of the water. Looking out, he smiled. "Come over here," he said.
I joined him.
"I want to tell you something you don't know about yet," he said.
His words worried me a little. But he looked calm and happy, and that reassured me.
"Every person on earth has a gift," he began. "In some, the gift manifests itself spontaneously; others have to work to discover what it is. I worked with my gift during the four years I was at the seminary."
Now I would have to "play a role," as he had taught me when the old man had barred us from the church. I would have to feign that I knew nothing. There's nothing wrong with doing this, I told myself. This is a not a script based on frustration but on happiness.
"What did you do at the seminary?" I asked, trying to stall for time in order to play my role better.
"That doesn't matter," he said. "The fact is that I developed a gift. I am able to cure, when God so wills it."
"That's wonderful," I answered, acting surprised. "We won't have to spend money on doctors!"
He didn't laugh. I felt like an idiot.
"I developed my gift through the Charismatic practices that you saw," he went on. "In the beginning, I was surprised. I would pray, asking that the Holy Spirit appear, and then, through the laying on of my hands, I would restore many of the sick to good health. My reputation began to spread, and every day people lined up at the gates of the seminary, seeking my help. In every infected, smelly laceration, I saw the wounds of Jesus."
"I'm so proud of you," I said.
"Many of the people at the monastery opposed me, but my superior gave me his complete support."