“Fancy meeting you here.”
I jumped at the sound of Julian’s voice and turned to meet him. “Hey.”
He was dressed up in a fitted navy blue suit with a white button-up and pink tie. They all fit him, as if they’d been hand-tailored to his specifications. He did seem to love fashion way more than his brother.
“I didn’t expect for you to show.”
“I didn’t anticipate coming.”
Julian reached for a cucumber-and-cream-cheese sandwich. “Are you…here with Chase?”
“No!” I blurted hastily. Then I took a breath. “No, I’m not here with Chase. Ashleigh actually made me come because we’ve been friends so long. So, I’m just here as a friend.”
“I see.”
I reached out and grasped his suit sleeve. “Please, don’t tell your brother I was here, especially not here with Chase.”
His gaze softened. “I’m not going to tell him. I really don’t want to think about how Jordan would react to you being here with Chase after last night.”
“Me either,” I said with a shudder.
“Are you going to talk to him?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Should I?”
He blew out a breath. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.”
“But…”
“But he was a better person when he was with you, happier. I don’t know…maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you after what he did and said, but he really cares for you. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“It doesn’t excuse what he said.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Julian agreed. “But he is going through a lot right now. He might look like the strong one, Annie. He puts on the big-brother protector bit really well, but the only reason it comes out is because he needed someone to protect him, too, and there was no one there to do it. And now, he doesn’t know how to ask for that help.”
I swallowed hard at his words. We didn’t talk about his dad much, but there was enough emotional trauma there for him to have put up these boundaries. And then to not know how to navigate those problems on his own without violence. I’d seen it happen myself last night.
“Yeah. Maybe,” I whispered.
He grinned that charismatic Julian smile. “Either way, I’m glad you’re not here with Chase. That would be awkward.”
I laughed. “It would be, wouldn’t it?”
Ashleigh appeared then. “Come on, baby. They’re about to make the toast.”
My eyes finally found Chase’s in the crowd. He beckoned me over. I smiled at Julian and then headed to Chase’s side. It was strange to be there as he draped a casual arm around my shoulders. This was the life that I’d always thought I would be living. And now, it was a specter of reality.
Chase’s father said a few words that I barely heard. I raised my fresh glass of champagne into the air and celebrated my closest friend coming home.
As soon as it was over, I slipped out of his grip and found the stairs to take me away from this. Coming here had been a mistake. I couldn’t breathe. I was still too fucked up from yesterday, and trying to pretend with people I knew, let alone strangers, was just too much.
No one was on the second floor, which housed an extra guest bedroom, Arnold’s at-home office, and Charlotte’s workout room. It was the office that I meandered to because it had the best view of the pool.
Of course, Arnold always kept it locked, but Chase and I had played up here too many times, growing up, for me not to know how to jiggle the lock to get it open. It was an old thing, and he probably should have had it replaced a long time ago.
I hit the lock just right, and, voilà, an empty space for me to wallow.
I stepped into the darkened interior, carefully closing the door behind me. Even in the dark, I could see the bookshelf-lined walls, stacked full with legal and real estate material. There was a shelf or two for classics and the like that Chase and I had scoured once upon a time. The legal stuff had been too boring. Arnold’s enormous oak desk took up the majority of the back of the room with his massive chair. I’d sat in it a few times and always felt like I was being swallowed.
With a sip of my champagne, I passed the brooding desk and pushed open the glass balcony doors. The cold hit me like a two-by-four. I shivered against the unwelcome onslaught and immediately yanked the doors closed. So much for that idea.
I could see partygoers poolside through the glass. A few looked up at the sound of the door opening and closing, but I was far enough back that I didn’t think that anyone could see me.
A teenage couple kissed on a chaise. Probably the wayward Katelyn. What else was there to do at a grown-ups’ party?