“What?” He blinked and realized Tristan was still staring at him. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just need some air.” He pushed past Tristan, escaping out the back door.
Chapter 4
Julie gripped the steering wheel of her Mercedes and stared through the windshield at her unchanged childhood home. The vision seemed to comfort, like a noose around her neck. Returning to Jasper Falls for Ryan Clooney’s wedding was not quite the homecoming she expected. But it was absolutely the escape she needed.
Her gaze shifted to the box of belongings resting on the passenger seat. It certainly wasn’t enough to represent a life. But it was all she could afford to bring with her.
Leaving Lance was less about the possessions she could get out the door and more about the shreds of dignity she could maintain through the exit. He dismantled her so carefully over such a long period of time, she forgot how to trust herself.
Even now, more than a hundred miles away from him, she felt like a ticking time bomb. At any second, her whole world could explode into another mess. No warning. No sense of preparation. Just the overwhelming feeling that she had lost control of everything.
Was she making a mistake? A knot formed in her stomach as her grip tightened on the wheel. Should she go back?
She never knew if she was overreacting or doing the right thing anymore. Was she the victim of gaslighting or was she truly just crazy?
Lance had her thinking so screwed up, simple tasks like folding laundry could make her anxious. She was burnt out from trying not to mess up, but according to him, she did very little right.
“You don’t listen. You never listen. You always just hear what you want to hear.” Similar accusations played on a loop in her head, taunting her and making her question her sanity.
She could still see that condescending look in his eye, the one that made her feel foolish and crazy. He claimed he never said he’d come home for the wedding, but she swore they had a conversation about just that.
“Julie, I said it would be nice to take a trip home for Ryan’s wedding, not that I would go. Some of us have work.”
Of course, he never missed the chance to jab at her unemployment. It was her decision to leave her job, but he’d contributed to that choice by making her feel less competent than others.
Inadequacy went both ways when it came to her career. He said he loved having her home to take care of things but often made comments that implied he thought less of her for not working outside of the house.
“You really have to listen better, Julie. Sometimes I think you write these narratives in your head and totally disregard reality.”
Yet, when they discussed the wedding, he’d asked her to make sure his suit was pressed, and she’d taken care of it the next day.
“We RSVP’d,” she’d reminded him, only to receive another look that told her she’d overreached.
“That’s on you. If we ever sincerely discussed this, I would have checked my calendar. I’m not like you. I can’t just flake out on my obligations.”
“Lance… You did check your calendar. This was several months ago. Remember?”
“No, and my memory is spot on. I don’t know why you want to go anyway. No one in Jasper Falls cares about seeing you. Your sister won’t be there. Why would you even bother making the drive?”
For days, she’d debated calling the Clooneys and making up an excuse, maybe even lying and saying she and Lance had the flu. But in the end, she wanted to see Ryan get married.
True, Jo wouldn’t be there. She left Jasper Falls four years ago and never looked back, but Pat would definitely be at his brother’s wedding. Remembering her old friends brought about a sense of nostalgic simplicity, something she really had been longing for lately—especially when she thought of Patrick.
Her heart pinched with regret. Julie always believed she and her twin sister would never live far apart, but a few years ago Jo up and moved to Philadelphia, completely abandoning their life in Jasper Falls to go live with Pat.
The three of them had always been close. She and Jo were linked by their sibling bond, and Pat, well, she supposed it was never about her, after all, and Jo was the one he favored most.
As they grew older and Julie started dating, she and Patrick grew apart, yet he and Jo remained tight. Pat had stopped acting silly with Julie and she often envied the ease Jo kept with him, laughing at inside jokes and sharing experiences Julie hadn’t been invited to join.
Without Jo, Julie didn’t see a reason to stay in Jasper Falls. Lance’s job was transferring him to Maryland. It made the best sense for her to follow him.