Suddenly, the door to my room pushed open and I sat up to find Matt, stormy and dark, in my doorway. His green eyes widened as he took in the room, the pillows and lace, the giant four-poster bed and the canopy.
“What are you doing here?” I pitched myself off the bed.
“I’m here for that talk,” he said, stepping inside, all long-legged grace and masculine energy. God, he was so attractive my body hurt I wanted him so bad. “You know—” he touched the edge of the canopy “—when I first got here I made a map of the house and I inspected every room looking for any clue of the gems.”
“And?”
“I never got in here.” His gaze leveled me. “You keep it locked.”
“That’s not a crime.”
“I thought you were hiding the gems.”
I laughed, on edge and nervous simply from his being here.
“But you’re hiding yourself, aren’t you? All this lace, these silly little details. It’s all you.”
“Architect, gardener and now psychologist?”
“Every night for the past four nights we’ve slept in the sleeping porch and you were going to let me leave tomorrow without ever showing me this.”
“My bed?” I asked all full of scorn because he was right. He saw right through me and that grip I had on my heart was slipping. “Here it is.” I flung out my arms. “I asked for a princess bed on the first Christmas I spent with Margot and she got me this monster, the most elaborate princess bed known to man.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Satisfied?”
“You know I’m not.”
My body got hot. Damp.
“You should go,” I said, wishing my voice was stronger. “You’re leaving tomorrow—I really don’t understand why you want to draw this out.”
His body crowded mine, his chest touched my crossed arms and I had to turn my head or drown in his scent.
God, just go. Just go so I can—
“I love you,” he said.
And my heart slipped right out of my hands, shattering into a million little pieces.
“Savannah?” he said, tilting my face up, forcing me to look at him. I couldn’t bear it—he was the brightest thing I’d ever seen and looking at him blinded me. Ruined me.
“I have to go,” he said, pressing a kiss to my neck. “I have to fix some things I’ve let fall apart in the last six months. I’ve made promises—”
“I know.” I gasped, his breath making all the hair on my body stand up.
“But I will be back,” he said.
“Don’t.” I put my hand over his lips. “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.”
“I am not your mother,” he said, his voice shot with fire. “And I am not your brothers and I am sure as hell not Eric.” His hands gripped my arms. “Did you hear me? I love you. You.” He flung out his hand, indicating the lace and the bed. “I love this ridiculous room. I love you as a mother and a granddaughter. I love you for your perfect skin and beautiful face and your body that makes me crazy.” His hands cupped my head, his fingers pulling the fine hairs at the nape of my neck, the pain so sweet. “I love you for your giant brain.”
God, hope was so painful. It was as though my flesh was ice and it was breaking, cold and sharp.
“I love you for your daughter and all your contradictions and complications. But, most of all I love you for your fierce heart.”
I closed my eyes, overcome. Every gate had been stormed, every defense in ruins.
He started to pull at my clothes, unzipping zippers, undoing buttons and I let him. I would take his body, his sex and his love, I’d take it all because I really didn’t believe that once he left he’d ever cross my threshold again. I would hoard those memories for all the lonely days ahead. “I want that fierce heart to love me back,” he said.
It does.
Yeah, I wasn’t stupid enough to say it.
“And I know,” he continued, kissing my collarbone as he undid my bra, my breasts spilling into his hands. “I know that you love me and I’ll be back so you can say it to me.”
I kissed him, preventing myself from saying all the things I shouldn’t.
MATT
Hours later, the kitchen was dark and hushed as we sat side by side on the counter, sweat cooling on our skin. My soul lay between us, a naked offering cold and shivering in all this silence.
I had no fucking clue what she was thinking. But I knew down to my feet that pushing would only break everything. So, I took another bite of my ham sandwich and wondered why love had to be so hard.
“Okay,” she said, holding her uneaten sandwich in her lap.
“Okay, what?”
Her smile was shaky and nervous, but still the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. “Come back to me.”