She had to.
He could drown in her taste, in the silky feel of her tongue gliding against his. Christ, he could kiss this woman for hours, until their jaws ached and their lips hurt, the sort of endless kissing that he hadn’t experienced since he’d been a teenager. She tasted like perfection. Her slender body molded to his as he mapped her curves with his wandering hands, wishing he could have her naked again.
Knowing against all hope it would be a mistake.
But that didn’t stop him from kissing her. Touching her, slipping his hands beneath her shirt to caress warm, soft skin. She moaned against his mouth, a little needy sound, one that went straight to his cock, and he was hard as steel in an instant, throbbing for her. Needing to get inside her so he could lose himself in her soft, welcoming body at least once…
“Damn it.” He tore his mouth from hers and wrapped his hands around her waist, lifting her off him so she had no choice but to slide off to the side and land on the floor. Pushing to a sitting position, he ran his hands through his hair in pure frustration, almost afraid to look at her for fear of how angry she might be.
Risking it, he turned to her and found her staring at him. Her eyes were wide and full of shock, her hair a mess—from his fingers. Her cheeks were flushed a gorgeous pink shade and she thrust a trembling hand in her hair, pushing it out of her eyes.
“I hate how you do this to me,” she whispered. “You want me, you kiss me, then you discard me as if I were some sort of afterthought. I can’t take it anymore.”
He hated it too, didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. Why she compelled him to risk it all when he knew he shouldn’t. She was a baby. His employee. And he was a man set in his ways, jaded as hell and in no way looking for a loving relationship. He’d gone through a hellish marriage. Another one was not in the cards for him, and Paige had weddings, babies and happily-ever-after written all over her.
“All I ask is for Italy, Paige,” he said, afraid he might beg if he had to. Anything to convince her. “Come to Italy with us, help me with Matty while I work and spend time with my mother. I know you two are so fond of each other. It’ll be like a vacation, I promise. You won’t have to take care of Matty the entire time and you could go sightseeing if you wanted. Then when we return, you can go find another job.”
Her eyes narrowed, shooting fire at him. She looked furious and gorgeous with it. “You make it all sound so easy when really, it’s not. Though I’m sure you have no idea what it’s like, your life has been perfect.” She cleared her throat and lifted her chin, beautifully regal despite her looking like a ravished mess sitting on the floor in her pajamas. “I have an opportunity for a new job now. I can’t just let it go. What if there’s not another one when I come back? Then what’ll I do?”
“I’ll help you find a job.” He stood, offered her his hand, which she took, albeit reluctantly. The sulky expression on her face was adorable, though he knew he shouldn’t think like that. She was angry and she had every right to be. Hell, he was angry at himself for doing this to her. Toying with her. He was a sick, twisted bastard. “I know plenty of people. Someone should have use for a nanny. Or I could always hire you at Renaldi.”
“No,” she said vehemently as he pulled her up. She shook her head, her expression determined, and she stepped away from him, gaining distance. He missed her immediately. “Absolutely not. I won’t go from your house to your business, Matteo. I can’t.”
That hurt. Why, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t examine it now. “Regardless, I can help you, Paige. Let me do that for you. All I ask is you give me a little bit more of your time.”
She backed away farther, nibbling on her lower lip. Lips that were swollen from his kisses, and the urge to kiss her again was so strong, he had to fight it off with everything inside of him. “What you ask for isn’t as easy as you make it out to be.”
He breathed deep, unsure how to approach her. He’d made a mess of it. Wanting her, pushing her away. Needing her for Matty, because there was no doubt, Matty was madly in love with his nanny, and his boy needed her sweet yet firm guidance. “I’ve not handled this—you—correctly. And I’m sorry for that. But Matty needs you, Paige. I need you.”
She stood there, full of indecision. He could sense it, feel her emotions coming at him in strong, pulsating waves. “I’m scared,” she admitted, her voice small.
Well. That wasn’t the answer he expected. “Scared of what?”
“Scared of you, scared of this, us. Scared of leaving you and Matty. Scared of staying. I’m so confused.” Tears shone in her eyes and within seconds her face crumpled as she started to cry.