Her emotions crashed within her like a lost ship in a stormy sea. She didn’t understand what was happening between them. What was happening between him and his family? Did he want to come back to Italy? What about Matty? What would be best for him?
More than anything, what would be best for her and their relationship? Not that they really had one, but still…
Her appetite slowly ebbed away and she set her fork on the edge of her plate. This was all so confusing. She didn’t know what to do, what Matteo expected from her. One wrong move on her part might send him running.
“You worry too much,” Claudia whispered, patting Paige’s hand. “I see the wheels turn in your brain, cara. Matteo will do right by you. I know it.”
Paige smiled, but it was weak at best. She wished she had Claudia’s confidence.
She wished she had Matteo.
Chapter Nine
Paige paced her bedroom nervously, much like she’d done the first day she arrived in Amalfi, when she confessed her feelings for Matteo to Claudia. This time, she was alone, consumed with her thoughts, worried she wouldn’t get a chance to speak with Matteo alone tonight.
Considering it was past eleven and she could still hear his brothers’ voices coming from outside through the open door that faced the backyard, she knew any sort of secret rendezvous with Matteo wasn’t going to happen.
Emitting a little growl of frustration, she went into the connecting bathroom and washed her face. Brushed her teeth. Her usual nighttime ritual, though she threw her reflection a disgusted glance at how hopeful she’d been.
She’d taken the time to put on a sexy little nightgown she’d bought in the city before they left for Italy. Simple white cotton trimmed with lace, the bodice dipped low, as did the back, and was held by thin, lacy straps. The hem hit her at mid-thigh. The lingerie was innocent yet sexy and she’d fallen in love with it at first sight. Had packed the nightie with her in the hopes of somehow, someway, she would be intimate with Matteo while they were here.
Well, that wasn’t going to happen tonight.
She turned off the bathroom light with a slap of her hand and stalked toward the bed, yanking back the covers with a ferocity that surprised her. Sexual frustration did that to a woman, she thought grimly as she climbed into bed and pulled the sheet and comforter over her, reaching over to turn off the lamp. She lay in the darkness, heard the brothers laughing and talking in the distance, the unmistakable low, velvety tone of Matteo joining them. Her entire body ached for him, but at least the earlier tension between the brothers was gone.
Most likely since she was the cause of it. Push her out of the picture, and all was well with the Renaldis once again. How she hated that. She wasn’t a troublemaker, she never had been. But ever since she’d arrived in New York, she’d been involved in one mess after another.
Rolling over on her side, she stared out the open door, the screen pulled shut to allow in the cool evening breeze. The scents of Italy were potent, intoxicating and she breathed deep, closing her eyes.
How she wished Matteo were in her bed. If it had been like the other nights, he would’ve walked her to her bedroom door and kissed her stupid. Pressed her against the wall, caging her in with his big, virile body, his mouth fused with hers, his hands ranging over her body, learning what drove her wild…
She’d planned on inviting him inside her room tonight. Forget the wall and the kissing that left them both frustrated. She would’ve seduced him, stripped him, done whatever he wanted her to do so she could have him naked. In her bed. Forever.
Sighing, she switched to her other side, punching the pillow beneath her. They were in Italy for two more days and then they would return to the reality of Manhattan. Earlier this morning she hadn’t been worried, but now she had no clue where her place was in Matteo’s life. Or what he was thinking of doing with his life. Clearly, his brothers wanted him home. Here.
And clearly his brothers didn’t like or approve of their relationship. She could understand their wariness and even appreciate how protective they were of their big brother. But it still hurt.
Tremendously.
Tears prickled the corner of her eyes and she blinked them away. She would not cry. She would remain strong and not fall apart like a silly, weeping mess. In her not so distant past, she’d done that time and again. What the Leonards had done to her, how much they’d scared her, had almost devastated her completely. And the worst part? She’d let them.
Well, she was tired of being the helpless victim. For once, she needed to take charge of her life and her destiny. If she couldn’t talk to him tonight, then she would do so first thing tomorrow. She needed to express her feelings and get all of this anxiety out of her system once and for all.