“You were never my dirty secret,” she murmured, swiping at a tear that spilled down her cheek. “What did you want me to say down there? We’d lied to my mother about our being together, then we’ve lied to our friends about not being together. There was no blanket statement to answer all the questions and I . . . I just . . .”
She bit down on her lower lip as she closed her eyes, and more tears spilled down her cheeks. The sight gutted him, but his pride wouldn’t let him console her or tell her everything was okay when this situation was far from fine.
Cash stared at her for another moment, trying to find the right words, but there was simply too much pain.
He knew exactly what he would’ve said down there. Had this been Jax or Tanner, and Cash’s father had walked in thinking he had a girlfriend, Cash would’ve gone with the truth. He would’ve explained the situation and respected Jade in the process.
But Jade’s default was to make her mother and her friend happy and to hell with anything she may have shared with him.
“I guess you won’t have to worry about what to tell them anymore,” he stated. “Seems you covered all that pretty well.”
He eased around her and headed for the door. If he could just get to his shoes, he’d be gone.
“Cash.”
Stopping just before the hallway, he reached up to grip the doorframe, but he didn’t turn around. There was no way he could look at her right now, not when he was on the edge of losing control over his wrecked emotions.
“You were about to tell me you loved me before the doorbell rang.”
Cash tightened his grip, yet he still didn’t turn and he didn’t say a word. There was no way he could admit where he truly stood.
“I know you were,” she went on. “You can’t lie to me.”
Swallowing his emotions, and apparently his pride, Cash glanced over his shoulder. The sight of her standing by the bed wearing only his shirt would’ve been so inviting only an hour ago. Now, well . . . seeing her in his clothes, her hair tousled by his hands, her body still smelling like him, was simply too painful.
“No. I can’t,” he agreed, because he wanted her to know the severity of this moment. “Because I’m done lying.”
Her eyes widened and she took a step forward, but Cash forced himself out of the bedroom, ignoring her attempts to call him back in. Never in his life had he ever had to use so much restraint. Cash wanted nothing more than to walk back in there, close the door, and remind her how perfect they’d been together. But that wouldn’t solve any of their problems. Sex was exactly what had gotten them into this mess.
Wasting no time, Cash grabbed his shoes from the kitchen floor. He didn’t look around, didn’t wait to see if Lana or Livie were still there. He wasn’t in the mood to answer questions or play nice. He needed to get home and figure out the mess he’d made of his life.
From now on, and he meant it this time, his focus would be on his father, on his gym, and on the airport he had a stake in.
There would be no dodging Jade with the project they’d all taken on, and no doubt he’d see her at friend functions like cookouts or when Tanner or Jax just wanted to get together on a whim. But that didn’t mean Cash would ever let Jade in again, because this pain cut far deeper than when his wife had cheated and ultimately left.
Having Jade deny their involvement when they stood in her living room barely dressed had been the proverbial slap in the face.
With his head down and concentrating on each step that took him away from Jade’s house, Cash headed down the street toward his truck. The ultimate walk of shame—shirtless no less—on this picturesque, tree-lined street with all its old, historical homes. He’d known he didn’t belong in Jade’s life; he’d told himself that over and over. Now if he could just emotionally remove himself as easily as he had physically, maybe he would recover from this heartache.
Chapter Sixteen
Jade knocked on Livie’s front door and then took a step back. Maybe she could at least try to repair this damaged relationship.
After Cash had left her house, Jade had herself a good cry on the sheets that still smelled like him. She’d only allowed herself a few moments, but she hadn’t been able to hold the emotions in any longer.
Once she somewhat composed herself, she changed from his shirt and put on a pair of yoga pants and a tank and pulled her hair into a ponytail. When she’d gone back downstairs, Jade discovered Livie was gone and her mother declared she was going to rest and they could do dinner once Jade calmed down.
Calmed down? There would be no calming down. This wasn’t some issue over a bad hair day or a burned casserole.
Jade’s entire life, her future, had been changed because of her careless words, when she’d let her fear and insecurities consume her. She’d hurt Cash, hurt him so bad he’d completely shut off his emotions . . . at least until his parting words.
He loved her. That stunning declaration should’ve made her feel so warm, so excited. But knowing he was gone, and she’d virtually pushed him out, only made those precious words hurt her in ways she’d never known.
The click of the lock pulled Jade back to the moment just as the old oak door swung wide. Livie stood in the doorway but didn’t say a word.
“Can I come in?” Jade asked.
Still silent, Livie stepped aside and held out her hand in gesture.