Laney shifted on the chaise and patted the spot beside her. “You’re staring down at me like I’m a bug on your shoe. So, either sit down, get to work or leave.”
Ryker loved how she always spoke her mind. Except when she kept revealing her feelings for him. Nothing good could come from her making an impossible situation even more difficult.
And if he sat next to her, he’d want to touch her. Touching would lead to what they both truly wanted, and he refused to betray this family again by giving into his selfish desires.
Ryker turned and grabbed a box. “What’s in here?”
From the corner of his eye, he saw Laney’s shoulders fall, her eyes close. He’d hurt her. He couldn’t sit close to her. Didn’t she get that? She had to understand this wasn’t about them. There was so much more to it than just a man and a woman who were attracted to each other. So he’d have to keep his distance...as much as possible, no matter how much he wanted her.
“That’s the ornaments,” she told him. “I have a bag of lights I just purchased. It’s on the steps. There’s also a bag from All Seasons there, but be careful because I just bought the cutest Nutcracker there.”
Fine. He’d put the damn lights on the tree. He’d decorate her house to put a smile on her face. He knew full well how much Laney loved Christmas. She used to go to her parents’ house, which was now Braden and Zara’s, and cook an elaborate dinner on Christmas Eve. She’d pass out gifts she’d bought and wrapped in thick, sparkly paper. Most likely she’d hand tied her own bows, too. Laney’s face would light up as she sat and watched her family open their gifts. Ryker was always so mesmerized, so humbled he got to experience Christmas with them.
Damn it. They were his family. The only family he’d truly considered his own—the only
one that mattered.
He’d just reached the steps and spotted the bag when Laney’s soft voice stopped him.
“I know you don’t want to be here.”
Ryker glanced over his shoulder. Those bright green eyes locked him in place from across the room.
“I never said that.”
Smiling, she said, “You didn’t have to. You regret sleeping with me. Probably feel trapped because I’m pregnant. And I’m positive you think you betrayed my brothers. But please, don’t patronize me or pity me. I’m fine on my own, Ryker.”
When she held her ground and didn’t glance away, he ignored the bag and started back toward Laney. She was a strong woman, what man wouldn’t find that a complete turn on? She was everything he’d want in a woman, but she was the little sister of his employers, his best friends. She was off limits. And he’d ignored that unwritten rule.
Taking a seat on the edge of the chaise, he faced her. “I don’t regret sleeping with you. I’ve tried, but I can’t even lie to myself.”
She reached out, tracing his scarred knuckles with her fingertip. “That’s something, at least.”
“I don’t feel trapped,” he went on. “I feel sorry for you, for this baby. I know nothing, Laney. The most impressionable years of my childhood were spent in hell. I couldn’t begin to tell you what a baby needs. I don’t even know how to help you adjust to this. I’m not made to be in a relationship or to be a parent. But that doesn’t mean I’m turning my back on you guys. It just means...”
Ryker shook his head and turned away so he didn’t have to look her in the eye. Apparently she was the stronger of the two. “It means you deserve better, and this is what you’ve got.”
He barely heard her shift before her fingers threaded through his hair. “There’s nobody better than you, Ryker. You’re a fighter, you’re noble and you’re loyal. I know you’d do anything to keep me and this baby safe. What makes you think I’m so unlucky?”
Reaching up, he gripped her wrist, but didn’t pull her hand away as he turned to meet her questioning gaze. “Because you deserve a man you can share your life with. You’re the type who wants a family, who wants that big Christmas morning celebration with chaos and Santa stories. I can’t give you that.”
Laney smoothed his hair from his forehead. He should stop her. He should remove her hand, but he was such a selfish bastard. One more touch. He just needed one more and then he’d get up.
“Have I asked you for anything? You’re already family. Just because we’re having a baby doesn’t mean you have to marry me.”
Just the thought of marriage had him trembling. He traveled too much, took too many risks to bring a wife into the mix.
Laney’s hand fell to her lap. “I didn’t realize you were so put off by the thought of marriage. Glad I didn’t propose.”
She’d tried to make light of the situation, but the hurt in her tone gave her away.
“Laney—”
“So, if you want to bring me that sack of lights, I can get them out of the boxes, and you can put them on the tree.”
He stared at her another minute, to which her response was to stare right back, as if daring him to turn the topic back around. Ryker didn’t necessarily want to get into a verbal sparring match with her, so he nodded and went to get the bag.
He’d thought Christmas decorating was torture, but seeing Laney hurt, knowing he’d caused her feelings to be crushed, was even worse. He was going to have to learn how to make her smile again or...what? It wasn’t as if he could remove himself from her life. He worked for her family, and she was having his baby.