It sounds stupid. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. Maggie and I haven’t lived in the same house since Terry was born. She’s dated, and at first, that was a hard fucking pill to swallow. I dated—not because I truly wanted to—but because if Maggie was going to do it, I figured I should, too. Hell, maybe in the back of my mind, I thought I could make her jealous.
It has worked out for the most part, but it’s also not what I want. At thirty-six, I realize there’s more that I want from life. I’m not getting younger, and while I love my career, I want the things I dreamed of when I was a kid starting out with Maggie—the things she wanted before the loss of our daughter.
Grief affects people in different ways. For Maggie, it created walls that she doesn’t let anyone break down. It’s frustrating, but having experienced the same pain, I understand it.
At least to a certain point.
I rummage around the fridge, seeing what I need to make dinner tonight, while searching around for breakfast at the same time. Terry had his marshmallow breakfast cereal this morning, but it didn’t sound appetizing. Too bad, because it looks like that’s all that is on the breakfast menu. It appears when I pick up stuff for dinner tonight, I also need to restock the place in general. That’s another disadvantage that happens with working all of the time.
I grab the milk from the fridge as my doorbell rings. I’m not expecting anyone, and since I’m usually at work, it catches me by surprise. I grin, wondering if Maggie returned early. I put the milk on the counter and walk to the door, but the smile on my face freezes when I realize it’s not the Lucas I wanted on my doorstep.
“Fuck, what did I do now?”
“I don’t know. Is it something I need to beat your ass down for?” Blue asks, and I frown at him.
I step away from the door and walk back to the kitchen.
“Come on in if you’re going to. You’re interrupting my breakfast,” I mutter.
I like Blue. I like all of Maggie’s family, really. They’ve been good to me, even Ida Sue who can be a tough nut to crack. They’re all great with Terry, and I’m grateful he has such a great family surrounding him—because God knows he doesn’t have that from my side.
I hear the door close as I grab a bowl from the cabinet. I look up as Blue ambles in and takes a stool at the breakfast bar. I know he and Black are twins and while they do look alike for the most part, they’re as different as night and day. Black is a jokester, a riot at times and that’s only increased since he married Addie. Blue? He’s wound up so tight, I’m surprised he can move, let alone get on that horse he loves riding. I’m not sure I’ve seen him smile—at least not fully.
“That shit will poison you,” he mutters, curling his nose at my cereal.
“Like you don’t eat this at your mom’s,” I reply, because I know he does. He just shrugs, not arguing. “You want to tell me why you’re here?”
“Didn’t know I needed a reason,” he responds, and I let out a sigh.
“Of all of Maggie’s family, I figure you are the one that does nothing without a reason, Blue.”
“Green told me you’re considering a job that will take you to Washington.”
I frown.
“Green’s got a big mouth.” I put down my cereal box, my appetite suddenly gone. I didn’t specifically tell Green to keep it quiet, but I didn’t expect him to go blabbing either, damn it.
“You been in this family in one form or another a long time, Bryant. You should know that by now.”
“I guess I should have, but I didn’t realize you guys talk like little girls about things that don’t concern you,” I snap.
“It involves Terry and Maggie. That makes it our concern,” Blue says easily.
“People co-parent while living in different states all the time, Blue,” I tell him, repeating what I’ve tried to convince myself of for the last week.
“You know what you and Maggie are doing is more than co-parenting, Bryant. I can’t pretend to know exactly what is going on with you two, but whatever it is, you’ve made it work,” Blue mumbles, and it’s clear that he’s uncomfortable.
Hell, he’s not the only one. I’d rather be anywhere else. It’s surprising they sent Blue, actually. He rarely says more than a handful of words at a time.
“Did you draw the short straw and get sent here?” I mutter, trying to figure out how in the hell to get out of this.
“No, everyone was just going to leave you clueless,” he says, and I frown in confusion.