And now, shit. I’m jealous of a freaking air mattress.
I need some air. Not Adam’s air. Not his lips. Not his mouth. Not his h
ands. And not his…erm, anything. What I need is a walk.
Adam drops the mattress as soon as he’s done, carts all the gear into the tent, locks the car with a fancy-ass app on his phone (who the shit brings this kind of car camping anyway? I’m surprised we even had enough clearance on the damn thing to go down the campground road), and treats me to another huge, different, Wilderness Adam smile.
“I’m starved.” He wanders over and cracks the lid on the cooler, then turns to me in horror. “What is this anyway? Nothing in there is edible.”
“Sorry, I didn’t bring champagne and caviar. We’re camping, so I brought camping food. You know, hot dogs, hamburgers, bologna, cheese, pickles…”
“And you can make actual food with that?”
“I don’t know about good or nutritious, but this is the usual camping fare. I looked it up. And I have been to a few barbeques before and whatnot, so I should know. Plus, I didn’t think we’d have a full kitchen and all the latest appliances to cook gourmet meals, so I did the best I could with a cooler and a bin of dry goods.”
“What the heck is dry goods?” Adam looks more hopeful, but his face falls when I start explaining.
“Pasta, buns, crackers, chips. Goods that are dry.” I saunter past him and reach into the cooler, pulling out various items—the bologna, cheese, mayo, and pickles. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” I take a slice of bologna, slap it on some bread, insert a slice of processed cheese, put a pickle in it, and squirt some mayo on. I pass it over like it’s a rare delicacy.
Adam looks at it like it might be a venomous snake I just skewered and decided to cook up.
He takes it tentatively when I shove my hand out a little further. God, he must be hungry, because I know what he usually eats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—healthy shit, expensive shit, and shit I hadn’t even heard of until I met him. There have even been a few times I’ve had to shop for it, when the girl, Lacy, who does all the food shopping, was sick. I didn’t know it was possible for a store to charge twelve bucks for a baguette or eighty dollars for a steak.
Adam takes a bite and shudders, but then he chews and swallows, and a look of surprise flickers over his far too handsome face. Did I mention that Adam eating the bologna, cheese, and pickle monstrosity that happens to be my midnight snack/go-to lunch is the most delicious thing I’ve seen in my entire life?
I make one for myself, and then I pop the lid back on the cooler. At least the tent is somewhat shaded. Hopefully, no bears come looking for the food we have in here.
“We should go for a walk, explore the lake beach, take a hike, or something.” Adam points to the pile of gear that he put in the other corner of the tent.
“You mean we should pretend to be doing something camping-ish or outdoorsy while we try to hunt down your ex-wife. Which is kind of, you know…”
“Yeah.” Adam runs a hand through his hair, and I swear my female bits just about burst into flames. “I know.”
“You know she’s kind of a butt crack?”
“Stephanie…”
“Yes.” I put on my most innocent smile, pretending not to understand which one of us he means. “Anyway, before we go and play amateur stalkers, I need to take a shower. I can’t do anything without a shower.”
“We just got here. You need to shower already?” But I know what he’s really saying is why the heck didn’t I do that before I left home?
“I was busy.”
“We’re going to get sweaty out there anyway. Or we’ll have to go into the lake or sit on the beach. It hardly seems worth it.”
I gingerly pull up my pant leg to reveal the approximately two weeks’ worth of growth I have going on there.
“Sweet mother of mercy,” Adam shudders. “Obviously, you haven’t had time to shower in a while.”
“I’ve been busy, okay. Busy getting ready for this, trying to keep my house’s roof from caving in, unpacking, and working for a certain demanding boss.” I let my pant leg go. “Anyway, there are way more fun things to do than stalking people. We could always find the beer store or the restaurant here and get hammered. Not that I really drink, because I don’t. I just thought it might be more fun not to remember this time at all. And if a bear comes to eat us in the middle of the night, at least we won’t feel it if we’re super inebriated.”
“Just go shower,” Adam says with an eye roll. He arranges the blow-up mattress and one of the sleeping bags. “I’ll just kick back and wait for you.”
“Oh, no. There’s another mattress to blow up.” Then, because I can’t help myself, I go in for the kill. “What are you going to say to Stephanie if we run into her anyway?” Adam’s face goes completely blank. He looks almost panicked like the aforementioned bear is tearing towards our tent with a murderous gleam in his eyes right now. I sigh. “You’re so confident about everyone and everything but her. Why is that? Oh right. Because she’s not nice, and she’s a butt crack.”
“I’ll figure it out.” Adam flops onto his stomach, grabbing the pillow and punching it to accommodate his weight before burying his face in it.
Even though that’s my cue to check out what are probably showers from hell and finally let my legs see some razor action, I can’t help but check out his ass in those jeans again.