The Secrets That Find Us (The Devils Dust MC Legacy)
She sighs into the phone, the sound of disappointment loud.
“I really wish you would have waited and let one of the guys take you down.”
“Exactly why I left when I did. I don’t need an escort, I don’t want a babysitter, Ma. I’m an adult, I want to do things for myself, and find out who the hell I am without having a Devil leading the way the whole damn time!” Now I’m shouting and fully awake. I’ll miss things about the club, like my girls, Piper and Addie. They grew up with me in the club and I love them like sisters. Addie is Bobby and Doc’s daughter and is the most mature and laid back of us all, always the one to make adult decisions when we’re together. If it weren’t for her, Piper and I would have been in jail a couple of times.
But I had to leave. I want to see what’s out there and experience things I’ve never had because of the club. Like, making mistakes on my own, meeting guys that don’t live for surfboarding, or how about waking up to no electricity one morning and having to look across the street to see if the neighbors’ lights are on only to figure out I forgot to pay my electric bill. My parents have babied me, following close behind me to make sure I never made any mistakes since I was sixteen.
Silence falls between us.
“What are you chasing, baby girl?”
I open my mouth to repeat how I want independence but honestly I’ve always been independent, I’m not sure what has my ass in this hot as fuck car but my soul is chasing something and I’m just along for the ride until I figure that out.
“I’ll know when I find it,” I whisper, picking at the chipped black nail polish on my thumb. I just know whatever it is, I can’t have the club around because I’ll never discover freedom or even life without my father hovering over me, waiting for me to make my next mistake.
“Your dad is going to flip the fuck out. You know that, right?”
Sucking in a sharp breath, I start my car. Dad is going to have a heart attack, I know. He still sees me as a little girl with a popsicle grin and that’s all he’ll ever see me as. “I look forward to his phone call,” I mutter under my breath. He’ll be mad and make me feel worse for not hugging him before I left.
I didn’t leave without saying goodbye to be a bitch, I did it because when I saw that sad-eyed look in my mom’s eyes, and the depressed cold shadows in my dad’s face. I’d feel so bad that I wouldn’t go, I wouldn’t follow my dreams and I’d always wonder what-if, maybe even resent them! I just want to be able to say I at least tried to do something outside of the club that was my own, without my dad or the club’s name paving the way, ya know?
“I remember when I left New York and came to California, I was around your age. It was everything and a mess, but I fell in love with your father and I would do it all over again.” I can hear the smile on her face without even having to see her. “Just, be careful, Delilah.”
Her tone makes the hair on my arms stand on end, at first I think it’s because she still sees me as a child but then it occurs to me she’s warning me of the danger that lurks behind promising new things. My dad and brother have kept me sheltered for so long that actually being on my own hasn’t been something I’ve experienced.
“I’ll be fine,” I assure her but the words come out wavy as I myself don’t know what awaits for me. But it’s Georgia, it probably has less crime than California for sure. I hope.
Using my nail, I pick at the steering wheel, regret starting to bloom within my chest for leaving my family behind. They always protected me, that’s for sure. Now I’m out here like a sitting target by myself. Feeling of conflict has me stressed and second guessing this whole thing now.
“Have fun, but don’t tell your dad I said that.” She laughs, bringing me out of my feelings and reminding me of the excitement that awaits me. “Call me when you get there so I know you’re alive.”
“Will do.” I can’t help the smile on my face now. Talking to her felt good. I needed this.
“Love you.”
“You too, Ma.”
Hanging up, I toss the phone into the seat, blow out an emotional breath, and pull off the shoulder and back on the road.
I give it five minutes before my father calls.
Big Chief