The One I Want

“What about me?”

She’s dressed the same as earlier but is wearing black flip-flops instead of heels. “Remains to be seen, Mr. Christiansen.”

“I much prefer Drew from you.”

“Me too,” she adds, sounding resigned to the notion.

Rascal doesn’t notice me until I get closer, and then he yaps before tugging on his leash to reach me. I squat down, letting him jump up on my knee. “He’s got good balance.”

She sits on a bench, allowing the wind to sweep her hair from her shoulders. “He’s little enough.”

I pet him as he leans his front paws on my shoulder and tries to get a few licks in around my neck. Setting him back on the grass again, I move to sit next to Juni. “I screwed up, and I’m starting to wonder if that’s all I know how to do with you.”

“Maybe, but instead of going down that path, have you wondered if I’m worth the effort?”

“You are.”

“No, Drew. I don’t need your confirmation to build my self-esteem. I’m good in that department. What I mean is am I, are we, worth fixing misunderstandings, worth fighting to get to a resolution, worth trying harder to understand each other instead of jumping to conclusions? I don’t want an automatic answer. I want you to consider each one and come up with your own thoughts on the matter.” Juni’s a straight shooter. But right now, I don’t know if that means she doesn’t think it’s worth the while to resolve whatever I did wrong.

“Have you?”

“Yeah,” she replies, her smile coming easy. “Too much and I’m not mad at you. Well . . .” Reaching over, she slips her hand in mine. “Not anymore anyway.” Thank God. Because I’m realizing that I want this. Her. Us. And I think I finally understand what went wrong tonight.

“I know I let you down. I’m not a romantic guy. I’m numbers and facts, and don’t run my life off hunches, emotions, or notions.” I hold her hand between both of mine. “If you can have patience with me, I’m learning.”

“I don’t want you changing for me.”

“But I’m willing to.”

“Why?”

“Because the last two weeks have been the best I’ve felt in years, and I owe that to you. It doesn’t matter how this job or Seattle or even New York wears me down because you make me feel alive. You make me feel like me again.” She wants romance and she deserves it, so I step out of my comfort zone and stand before her. “May I have this dance?”

She looks around. “There’s no music.”

Taking her hand, she stands before me, shorter than ever. I place her hand on my chest, and say, “There is. It’s just in here.”

We begin to sway to the music inside us when she says, “This is so spontaneous, Drew.” A smile cracks her expression. “And I freaking love it.”

“I’ve learned a thing or two from you.”

She briefly looks down, but then on the end of an exhale, she says, “I feel like we’ve got the odds in our favor. We’re two for two, after all.”

“Which two are we speaking of?”

“Number one on your list since that’s how we met and the science fair project that connects us.”

I think she’s right. The odds are in our favor. “I wouldn’t be opposed to taking you to Vegas.”

She stops abruptly. “To get married?” she asks, her voice pitching.

“No,” I say, my hands flying in front of me. “No. No. No. To the tables. Gambling. We said the odds are in our favor—”

Laughing, she lowers her hand from her chest. “Yeah, I may need a little romance in my life, but I don’t tempt the fates with that commitment nonsense. So Vegas, Atlantic City, and all the other quickie marriage locations are out of the question.”

One minute I’m not sure how to move forward in the relationship, and now she’s rejecting a marriage proposal that I never intended. I should be used to this craziness, yet I’m not.

Rascal is chasing his tail while Juni watches him. I sit down again, and ask, “What do you mean you don’t tempt the fates with commitment nonsense?”

Her smile fades as she paces to the other side of the grass patch, taking Rascal with her. “Look, I know I have issues. Commitment is one of them. More long-term, to be specific.”

“Then what are we doing?” The question seems to throw her as she shifts her head. “Two for two and all that. How do you believe in destiny and not believe in commitment?”

She moves the leash from one hand to the other, and Rascal lies at her feet.

“My parents showed me that being too passionate about anything always ends badly. They chose their work over me. If I allow every Tom, Dick, or Harry into my heart, where will that leave me? Alone, just like Karl did.”