The One I Want

“What about a Drew? How does a Drew fit into your heart?” When she can’t answer or chooses not to, I add, “We all have our issues. Mine are on full display, but I’m working on them.”

“I took the job to work on mine. It may not seem like much to you, but ten weeks is a long time for me.”

“Who’s Karl?”

“He’s the one who told me my parents were dead. He’s the one who stepped into the spotlight and presented my research and discoveries as his own. And I let him. I stood there at the edge of the spotlight in too much shock to say a word.”

“He won?”

She nods. That someone she cared about could so easily betray her makes me so angry. And perhaps that’s the reason for some of her tears yesterday. But I understand betrayal—not quite to the extent of how that bastard treated Juni though. But I understand how that can skew self-worth. How it stays with you for years after. “My high school girlfriend cheated on me. I was the most popular kid in school and she still cheated. This may sound cliché, but it wasn’t about me. Karl stealing your moment wasn’t about you, but you’ve willingly carried that burden for years. It’s not yours to carry anymore.”

“What happened with the high school girlfriend? Did you make amends?”

“Fuck no. I’m a guy. I started dating college girls my junior year in high school, fucking every one of them, and made sure she knew.”

“That sounds healthy,” she deadpans.

“Yeah, real healthy.” I was only seventeen and had the brain of a gnat. Clearly. I walk over to the side of the patch where she retreated earlier and take the leash from her. “We’re friends now.”

“You are?”

“She was fighting her own demons back then. We ran into each other a few years ago and tried to date again, but we both realized we got it right the first time when we broke up.” Dalen is complicated, but the one thing that’s not is where she stands in my life. “We’re friends now. You know why? Because I didn’t feel about her the way I do about you.”

She comes to my side and wraps her arms around my middle. “I like you, too, Drew.”

Words don’t always come the easiest when emotions are involved. Although I hadn’t told her how much I like her directly, I’m glad she understands my language. I wrap my arm around her, holding her close, and say, “Karl sounds like a real asshole.”

“He is,” she replies, laughing. She bends down to pet Rascal. He’s looking sleepy lying in the grass. Glancing back up at me, she asks, “You know that proposition I made?”

“Trading your help on the list for a date? I think I’m still coming out ahead on that one.”

All sadness is gone, and she says, “The date is an event in my parents’ honor. Karl will be there.”

“Good. I can’t wait to show him how lucky I am. He’s going to regret ever stealing your research, your grant, the scholarship . . .” I stop, too late, remembering the prize she really wanted to win. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I may not have won the money and other stuff, but I know it’s my work that won it for him.”

“Betrayal is a hard pill to swallow, but how you’re looking at it is true.”

She moves to the wall at the edge and looks over the side of the building. “You know what my parents would want me to do?”

“What?”

“Live life unapologetically.”

“I believe they would.”

Coming back over to me, she takes the leash and leads Rascal toward the door. “Come on. I have plans.”

I jog to catch up. “Do they include me?”

“They absolutely include you.”

Holding the door open for her, I ask, “Are you going to tell me?”

She lifts on her tiptoes and kisses me, and in Juni speak, I think that means I’m forgiven. Thank fuck. “I’d rather show you.” Fuck. Yes.

29

Juni

“I don’t understand.”

I sound it out slower this time. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Why not?” Drew asks, staring at me like I’m an alien.

My defenses kick in, and I cross my arms. Even though it’s over my bare breasts, he gets the message. “Well, for one, I haven’t been sexually active in a long time. Secondly, you should have one as backup.”

“Like carry one on me at all times? I’m starting to worry what you really think of me, babe. I’m not some sex-crazed animal roaming the streets. I might have slept with a few women over the years—”

“A few?”

His finger shoots up, noting my point for that round. “A lot, but that doesn’t mean I can’t control myself. Also, how did this get turned around on me?”

“Because we’d be upstairs right now if your mom wasn’t visiting. And upstairs is where the protection is.”