Carver’s brow raises as he continues to watch me making an ass of myself, but I ignore him, intent on getting comfortable. I finally find the right button and press it for only a second, sitting up just enough so that I don’t have to strain my neck to see him properly. To be completely honest, I’d like to sit up a shitload more, but I’m terrified of making matters worse, and knowing my luck, it’d probably hurt like a bitch.
Once I get myself sorted out, my gaze falls back on his suspicious stare, probably assuming that I got him all alone in here to rip him to shreds, and judging by the way he’s been looking at me since I woke up, he’d probably welcome it.
“So,” I start, a stupid grin pulling up the corner of my lips. “Do you come here often?”
Carver just stares, but the longer I watch him with my grin becoming ridiculously wide, he can’t help but break. A laugh bubbles out of his chest, and for just a second, I see the guy that I’m quickly realizing I don’t want to live without. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he laughs as the tension completely disappears out of the room. “Are you serious right now? Out of everything that needs to be said, you want to hit me with shitty pick-up lines?”
I shrug my shoulders, really starting to feel the pain fading away as my mind starts to get foggy once again. “It made you smile,” I admit. “And if I’m perfectly honest, I think that’s my favorite thing about you.”
His eyes narrow as his strong arms cross over his chest, his brow arched. “Really?” he questions in disbelief, not flattered by my comment in the least. He sees right through me in the way that only Carver can.
I shake my head. “Nope. I lied,” I say with a soft, breathy laugh. “My all-time favorite thing is when you throw me up against a wall and fuck me until I scream.”
“The fuck are you talking about? I’ve never fucked you.”
“I know,” I grin, bringing my hand up and pointing toward my temple. “But I dreamed about it one night, and now I have a vision of it living rent-free in here, and fuck, it’s the best thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Carver rolls his eyes, and while I see him desperately trying to pretend that everything is alright, I see the pain hiding within his gaze.
Letting out a sigh, I throw the blanket back and pat the space beside me. “Come here,” I tell him, knowing there’s a chance that he’s going to push me away, but considering the events that led up to this particular moment, I have a good chance of getting what I want out of him.
Carver narrows his gaze, studying the empty space beside me with caution. “No.”
“Yes.”
He pushes off the back wall and strides toward the end of my bed, propping both hands against the hard plastic and leaning into it. “Why?”
I fix him with a heavy stare, making sure he hears me loud and clear. “Because since the second I woke up, you’ve been looking at me as though you can’t believe I’m actually here. Now come and sit your stubborn ass next to me and wrap your arms around me, just like you used to when the nightmares would haunt me.”
He shakes his head. “No, don’t be doing me any favors,” he says. “Cruz was right. I missed. I fucked up and you’re in that fucking bed because of me. I don’t deserve to sit there and hold you like nothing happened, and you shouldn’t want me to.”
“Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t want. I’m not doing you any favors, Carver. I need this just as much as you do.”
He just stares at me, swallowing over the lump in his throat.
“Please,” I whisper. “Just stop hating on yourself for two minutes and give me this. I swear, I won’t ask anything of you ever again. I just … I need you here with me.”
I watch as the stubborn resolve in his eyes begins to break, and then finally he pushes off the end of the bed, making his way around to my side. He effortlessly slides onto the edge of the bed, somehow managing to pull me into his arms without a hint of pain. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t ask something of me,” he rumbles as my head falls to his chest. “No matter what, Winter, I am always here.”
Tears instantly well in my eyes as the feeling of home washes over me. Everything is so right with Carver. He and I … it would be everything, but we’re so far apart. It’s as though we exist on different sides of the world. Fire and ice. Except for in this one precious moment.