Watching him saunter back to his cruiser, Connor wondered why everyone was so sure there was more to his protection and friendship with Tam than he knew there was. Idiots, he thought with a touch of fondness. Just because Caden and Grayson appeared blissfully happy in their committed relationships didn’t mean going down that road was for everyone. It sure wasn’t his ideal path to follow. He was quite content remaining footloose and fancy-free.
Tamara didn’t see or hear from Connor the rest of the week, which was a good thing. By the time she was leaving the clinic Friday afternoon, she’d worked herself into a state of frustrated indecision. She really wanted to go the club tonight, but every time she thought of expanding from voyeurism to exhibitionism, of someone other than Con seeing and touching her, uncertainty gripped her. The only thing she knew for certain was that sex was off the table.
Ever since she’d returned home for the summer following her sophomore year at college and she’d discovered she wanted much more from the neighboring rancher than friendship, she’d found no one she desired as much as Con. When he’d rebuffed her by taking off with an abruptness that hurt, she’d returned to college and wasted no time losing her virginity to the first guy who asked her out.
Pulling up in front of the house, she sat a moment, reflecting on that sunny afternoon ten years ago when the light brush of Con’s lips over hers had affected her with a stab of heated awareness for the first time. She would never forget the stunning revelation of looking up at his rugged face and experiencing her first jolt of lust. The fact her close friend had been the one to stir up that pleasurable feeling had been jarring enough, but when he’d backed away as if burned, nothing could have prepared her for the hurt his first rejection caused.
“Aha! I won! That was a blast!” Laughing with exaltation from her first win, Tamara pulled Galahad to a halt in front of the stable, Con trotting up beside her. Breathing heavy from their race, she dismounted the same time as he did, turned and practically fell against him with glee. Clutching his arms, she felt the thick muscles bunch under her hands, the heat of his large body adding to the warmth of the summer afternoon. An odd shiver raced through her body as he looked down at her with that indulgent, crooked smile, his blue eyes lit with pleasure from under the lowered brim of his black Stetson.
“You cheated, sweetie.” Tugging on her braid, he clasped her waist and brought her up against him for a hug. Just like he’d done thousands of times during the ten years of their friendship. “But I’ll forgive you, like always.”
His deep voice, so familiar and yet affecting her in a new, unfamiliar way, rumbled in her ear. “Did not,” she returned as always, never tiring of their habitual banter.
He chuckled and her toes curled inside her boots. What was going on? With a nudge under her chin, he lifted her face, and she knew what was coming, the quick touch of his mouth on hers, but was ill prepared for the rush of heat that light touch generated for the first time. Her lips tingled as soon as his ghosted across them, her nipples pebbled into uncomfortable tightness and the urge to press closer, open her mouth and plead for more was overwhelming. Startled, she jerked in his hold and looked up to see if he had the same response.
“Shit.” Con released her and swung about, leaping back into his saddle as if he couldn’t stand to be there another second. “I’ve got to go, Tam. I’ll see you around.”
Watching him ride off, she knew she would never forget the first time he’d looked at her with something other than fondness. The surprise and regret in his eyes before his face had closed up cut her to the quick, and she knew her unguarded response had crossed a line he didn’t care for.
Tamara sighed at the memory. She’d returned to college a few weeks later and other than the thrill she experienced from getting naked and doing the nasty without her dad or Connor threatening to shoot the guy, she hadn’t seen what all the fuss was about. Luckily, there were a few men who had shared her bed since that night who were more experienced and considerate, but not even the pleasure of those encounters had given her the rush of her first light spanking a few days ago. Whether it was because she’d finally gotten Connor to put his hands on her in a non-platonic manner or because she might have a submissive streak she’d never known about remained to be seen. With any luck, she’d find the answer tonight, with or without his help.
Sliding out of her SUV, she spotted Amy riding up with Jason at her side, her stepmother’s face pink from either the afternoon excursion or the look on her foreman’s face when he glanced her way. Tamara hoped Amy wouldn’t turn a blind eye to his interest. She wanted the woman who had welcomed her with open arms to find happiness again.
“Hey you two. What’s up?” she greeted them as they strolled her way after tethering their mounts.
“I needed some fresh air and offered to accompany Jason on a ride to check the two heifers the sheriff returned this week. They’re looking much better and we should be able to breed them soon.”
Amy had been a veterinary assistant for a livestock vet when she’d met Tamara’s dad and her experience had come in handy over the years. “That’s good news.” She looked at Jason. “Is Neil doing any better at fitting in and being careful?” Tamara had told him about the cigarette incident with their newest employee.
He nodded. “He is, but still has a problem with authority and punctuality. I’m giving him as much leeway as I can, this being his first ranching job.”
“It’s your call. You know the hands best, and what’s needed from them. I appreciate your patience. I’m ready to get something to eat. You two want to join me?”
“Um.” Amy fidgeted and cast a quick, uneasy glance toward Jason before saying, “We’re on our way to get something at the diner. You’re welcome…”
Tamara shook her head with a broad, approving smile. “No, thank you. I have plans in a little while. You two go on. Have fun.”
“It’s just dinner,” Amy called out as Tamara veered toward the front porch.
“Okay, whatever you say,” she replied with a quiet laugh as she bounded up the steps, happy for her widowed stepmother.
It would thrill her beyond measure to see the woman who had been more of a loving parent to her than her own mother happy again. Her father left the house to Amy and enough income to support herself, but monetary comfort couldn’t make up for the loss of having someone special in your life. Tamara knew only too well how true that was. She’d missed Connor dreadfully during her self-imposed separation from him. Now that they’d reconnected and put that hurtful incident behind them, she couldn’t bear to risk losing their connection again. Which was just one more reason why she had to force herself to get over her stronger feelings and the persistent ache for more than he wanted to give.
She arrived at The Barn just before nine o’clock with those thoughts still occupying her mind. Wearing the same black skirt she’d chosen for last week’s visit and a white satin tank that tied at the shoulders, she hurried inside, refusing to second-guess her decision to return. If nothing else, that arousing light spanking Connor had delivered worked to increase her desire to continue exploring kinks she might enjoy.
As soon as she entered the empty foyer, Tamara realized she’d forgotten to ask Nan to meet her again. After hanging up her thigh-length sweater and stowing her shoes in a cubby, she reached for the door to the club with a nervous hand. But as soon as she stepped inside, a wave of excitement replaced her nervousness. This time she was ready for the sounds of people indulging in BDSM play and the comforting sense of friendship and affinity the members of this exclusive club portrayed. She started toward the bar where she spotted Avery and Sheriff Grayson, but Master Devin stepped into her path with an engaging smile of welcome.
“Tamara, it’s good to see you again. I was just looking for someone to dance with. Interested?”
Caught off guard by his unexpected, quick interest, she hesitated, but only for a moment. Maybe it would be easier if she jumped into participating with someone she was now familiar with as opposed to sitting around fretting over who and what she wanted tonight. Master Devin’s kindness and support last week was what she needed right now.
“Thank you. I’d like that.” She took his hand, finger waving to Avery as they walked past the bar toward the small group of gyrating couples.
Not since her college days had Tamara let go on a dance floor, and as the music switched to a faster beat, a surge of adrenaline whipped through her. Smiling, she fell into the rhythm with Master Devin as easily as if they’d rehearsed their steps. He moved with a sexy assuredness she found attractive and fun, pulling her close, swinging her about and twirling her around. By the time the song ended, her heart was pounding from the fun exertion as she worked to catch her breath.
“You were great. Thank you,” she panted. “I haven’t done that in a long time.” Before s
he could move away, he clasped her waist and drew her close as the next song began, this one a slow ballad with erotic lyrics that made her pulse skip.