That caused Leslie to stumble with wary nervousness, her jaw going rigid at the tenable position they didn’t know they could put her in with too many personal questions. Before she could say anything, Tamara jumped in. “Don’t worry, you can tell us to mind our own business and we’ll still share the food and wine. We mostly want to make sure you’re okay since you haven’t visited the club in weeks.” She flipped Nan a censoring glare. “When someone else stayed away without a word, it was to eventually learn she could have used her friends a lot sooner.”
“Are you ever going to let me live that down?” Nan grumbled.
“No,” Sydney, Tamara and Avery all replied in unison.
“Trust me, Leslie. It’s much easier to either unload now or tell us to back off than to keep silent. Been there, done that,” Nan quipped with a rueful look.
She knew enough about the months Nan was away to know the tall, slender brunette dropped contact with her closest friends until she’d returned to Willow Springs last May. Leslie also heard about the horrendous ordeal that had kept her gone and silent on the matter for so long. Seeing the difference in Nan now as opposed to when she’d first come back to the club, and remembering the scenes between her and Master Dan that had worked to get her over her fears, it was hard not to envy the woman she’d known the longest out of the group; not what she’d gone through, but the relationship that had born fruit from her trauma.
“I’ll be right out,” she mumbled, pivoting to dash into her room.
Leslie never expected such a considerate gesture from people she’d kept at arm’s length since meeting them. Sydney and Avery had bonded as newcomers to the club, and the town of Willow Springs. Tamara returned to her father’s ranch last year after living away for five years, and her and Nan’s friendship dated back to their school days. Of the four, Leslie had known Nan the longest, having met her the first night she visited the club. But not once in those three years had Nan made such a friendly overture, nor had she. This combined attempt to reach out to her stirred up the longing to include others in her everyday life, to build relationships instead of always remaining on guard against establishing them too deeply.
Changing into a worn pair of jeans and tee shirt, she padded barefoot back out to the kitchen, a warmth filling her chest as she saw them sitting at her table covered with take-out containers and chit-chatting as if comfortable in her small apartment. Their unexpected presence and concerned overtures didn’t change her circumstances, but, God, their well-meaning intentions produced such a much-needed good feeling.
“We found paper plates,” Avery said as Leslie sat down. “No sense in leaving you with a stack of dirty dishes.”
“I wouldn’t mind, not in exchange for not having to cook dinner.” She spooned a serving of sweet and sour chicken onto a plate. “I rarely fuss and this looks as good as it smells.”
“Cooking for one sucks. I used to box up food from the restaurant I worked at in St. Louis before heading home so I wouldn’t have to fix something for just myself the next day.” Sydney passed the fried rice with a deft change of subject. “So what gives, Les? You haven’t come out to The Barn in weeks. Is everything okay?”
As much as she appreciated their concern, she couldn’t exactly say, Leslie Collins isn’t my real name and if this rich guy who vowed revenge on me for testifying against his murderous sons ever finds out where I’m at, it could put anyone close to me in jeopardy.
“Hey.” Nan reached over and squeezed her arm. “We don’t mean to pry. I know we’re not close, and always figured you had your reasons for keeping to yourself. Just tell us to back off and we will. Sometimes, it’s enough to know there are people you can turn to if you ever need, or want to. That’s all we’re trying to do today.”
The tenseness eased out of Leslie’s shoulders as she nodded and then let her gaze scan the other three. “Thank you, all of you. I can tell you there are… issues I can’t relate to anyone that prevent me from making personal commitments, but you’re right. Knowing I can reach out if I’m ever free to do so means a lot. Almost,” she added with a teasing grin, “as much as this food. This is the best Chinese I’ve ever eaten.” She shoveled in a forkful of moo goo gai pan into her mouth as everyone relaxed.
“Speaking of the club, we have to tell you about the two new members. They are Hot with a capital H.” Tamara sighed and fanned herself.
Leslie laughed. “I thought you only had eyes for Master Connor.”
“My eyes are free to look their fill, but my heart has always belonged to my husband. And now that I know for sure I have his, there’s no way I’ll do anything except look.”
A dreamy haze filled Avery’s brown eyes. “And fantasize. Sheesh, one look at Doctor Mitchell Hoffstetter can conjure up a slew of steamy imaginings.”
“Speaking of fantasies,” Nan said, looking toward Leslie. “The guys are planning a masquerade night in a couple of weeks. Dan mentioned it, and said they were considering requiring the subs to come in costume but leaving it up to the Doms if they want to participate. I already have a few ideas in mind. If you decide to attend, I’m always up to coming to Billings to shop.”
Sydney, Avery and Tamara were quick to chime in and a stirring of interest in the idea tickled Leslie’s stomach. Since it was still a few weeks off, she had time to get her act together and stop the moping over circumstances beyond her control.
Talk turned to men, unforgettable scenes that produced those awesome orgasms Leslie had never experienced before exploring her interest in alternative sex. As she ate and listened to the banter going on around her table, her mind drifted to the stranger who had also wrung several off-the-chart climaxes from her perspiring, writhing body. She wondered if he ever thought of her, and if so, was it with pleasure or disbelief over her irresponsible decision to invite him into her home? She supposed it didn’t matter now what he thought of her or those hours they spent together naked. The odds of them ever meeting again were virtually nil, and that was for the best.
It didn’t take long after she thanked the girls again and said good-bye for the loneliness to creep in. An hour later, the silence of her apartment pressed down on her and she tried remedying that by turning on the television while she graded papers. But even the tin-canned laughter from sitcom reruns couldn’t suppress the ache to talk and laugh with friends again.
It wasn’t as if she’d spent the last three years in total seclusion, she thought with a surge of annoyance with herself. She’d enjoyed meeting her co-workers for drinks or lunch, and a few times she’d taken in a movie with her divorced neighbor upstairs. When Carl had pushed for more than a platonic evening of companionship, Leslie put a stop to those evenings out. It helped he remained friendly and was already seeing someone else.
Even though Billings was a fraction of the size of Reno with considerably fewer attractions and venues for entertainment, Leslie admitted there was a certain appeal to the slower paced, smaller town living, not to mention the scenic vistas of the surrounding mountain-backed prairies. She still found herself slowing on the highway when she spotted a herd of slow-moving, shaggy-haired bison or the streak of several graceful pronghorn antelope out across the meadows. Whenever these depressing moods would hit her in the past, all she had to do to dispel them was think about the positive aspects of the changes in her life or force herself to go out with acquaintances she enjoyed spending time with.
But those anecdotes failed to work this time around, pushing her into easing her despondency with a one-night stand. Just because that night had resulted in an awesome, unforgettable few hours didn’t negate the risk she’d taken by making that rash decision, or convince her she should push her luck and try for a repeat with another stranger. She wasn’t that desperate. Yet.
By the time Leslie climbed into bed, she’d decided to put out the effort to return to the club a
gain as soon as she was certain she wouldn’t turn tail and run just because others were lucky enough to have what she didn’t, or ever could.
Four weeks later
Despite her resolve to get over her funk and move on, the month of September flew by before Leslie got around to returning to The Barn. With having several students this year who were struggling with learning disabilities, she’d taken up tutoring both after school and on Saturdays to help them keep up. Then her car’s transmission went out and she wasn’t prepared for the hefty repair bill. Instead of tacking on to her unexpected expense by renting a vehicle for the week hers was in the shop, she hitched rides to school with another teacher and stayed home over the weekend. The following week was the school’s open house and fun night and after that an allergic reaction to something she ate laid her up for yet another weekend. During all that, Sydney, Avery, Tamara and Nan had taken turns sending her a short text at the end of each week, keeping the message to simple ‘will we see you this week?’ or ‘hope you can make it tonight’ comments that helped keep her thoughts on the positive side and her spirits up.
Before she knew it, the first weekend in October was upon her with nothing to keep her from driving out to the club. After answering Nan’s text and confirming she would see her this weekend at the club, Nan reminded her about masquerade night. Reading Nan’s response drew a smile from Leslie and boosted her confidence in being able to return without selfish ill-feelings getting her down.