Dear Heart, I Hate You

“Because I felt stupid for believing you. At some point, I figured everything you said must have all been lies. I thought I was smarter than that, that I’d be able to see through someone’s bullshit. And when I hadn’t seen through yours, I felt like a total idiot.”

The knife twisted in my gut. “I meant everything I said to you. There was so much more I stopped myself from telling you because I was scared of what it all meant. You couldn’t see through my words because there was nothing to see through.”

She swallowed hard, her eyes searching mine for the truth before her expression softened. “I want to believe you.”

“And I want you to.” The tightness in my chest loosened. “I want to show you something. Would you come for a drive with me?”

Emotions flitted over her face, a mixture of surprise and confusion. “Can you give me a few minutes, and I’ll meet you downstairs?”

She was kicking me out. I wanted to argue but knew that I couldn’t. I had to pick my battles, and this wasn’t one worth fighting about.

“Take all the time you need,” I said, hoping like hell she wouldn’t leave me out there in the rain all alone.

Second Chances

Jules

When Cal closed the door behind him, I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep from falling apart.

Holy hell, he’d just told me he loved me. I’d wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms, but I stayed strong. I had no idea how the hell I’d done it, but I had. Surely, I deserved some kind of award for bravery. Or maybe it was stupidity?

As much as I tried to pretend that I was protecting my heart from being broken again, there was a large part of me that knew my pride was also to blame. It wanted to teach Cal a lesson, to punish him relentlessly because it could. That was almost as immature as his leaving had been.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Tami’s number. Apparently, running every romantic decision by my best friend was my new MO these days.

“What’s the latest?” she asked.

“He showed up here again.”

“Of course he did,” she said, as if I was being dense.

In a small voice, I said, “He said he wants to take me somewhere and show me something.”

“What the hell could he possibly want to show you?”

“I have no idea.”

“Did you ask him why he was here during the middle of the week?”

I slapped my forehead. “No! I keep forgetting. He’s distracting.”

She laughed. “I bet he’s distracting.”

“Be helpful. Please.”

“I am helpful,” she said, her tone so pouty, I could visualize that lower lip sticking out.

“He told me he loved me,” I whispered.

“He what?”

“You heard me.”

“Ah hell, he doesn’t fight fair. What did you say?”

I racked my brain, trying to remember. What the hell had I said when my heart started pounding so loudly, I couldn’t hear anything else?

“I told him I didn’t believe his words.”